It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke
by Loony-Loonz
Summary: Demi needed to forget him so she could get better. She wanted him to stay, she wanted to be with Nick Jay. Can things work between them again? Can he fix the heart that he was starting to mend? This is set in 2012, with flashbacks of the past. Basing it all on the whole friendship and secret love people think they had.
1. Chapter 1

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

**A Nemi Story**

Chapter 1

**Demi's POV**

6am. Early morning for me today.

Why?

Because I was filming my Stay Strong documentary today.

What's that you may ask?

A documentary about the troubles I've been going through these past few months.

You know the ones, the ones to do with my depression, my eating disorder and the cutting. Plus, the other parts of my life involving the best thing.

My music.

It's been about 6 months since I released Unbroken, and things have actually been great for me.

I'm not better no, but I was definitely worse a year ago.

I do feel unbroken, genuinely.

I have my fans to thank for that, and of course my loving family. But most of all, I need to thank the place that I truly hated when I got there.

The Timberline Knolls Treatment Centre.

I don't even want to think about how bad it was at the start, disobeying the doctors and nurses… refusing to eat.

I mean, still sometimes now do I struggle to eat. But I've been taking baby steps surely but slowly. Everyday has been a daily battle for me, and I don't think that's going to change for a long time.

I have no idea when I'll be fully recovered, but I know I need to stay strong. But I can't hate the people that work at treatment, because they helped me a lot. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realise that they were against me, they were there to help me.

I knew that at some point, I would have had to try and do my best anyway.

So right now, I'm dead nervous. But I know that by filming this, I can be honest with my fans. This is what I'm doing it for. If they want to know the real me, then they're going to get the real me.

I love them, and I couldn't have coped if I didn't know about their constant love on Twitter and Facebook. They have been so patient and kind.

If I could meet every single one of them, I definitely would.

Maybe I'll try one day.

But seeing as I have over 5 million followers on Twitter, I don't know how the hell I would be able to meet them all at once!

Anyway, I must force myself out of bed and stop panicking otherwise I will not do it.

I must conquer my fear of everyone knowing, because if I don't they won't be able to help me if they don't know what's going on.

I stood up out of bed, stretching my arms up to the ceiling.

I was staying at a hotel, so everything felt weird.

I mean this hotel was lovely, but I never feel right when I'm not staying at home.

I feel like I'm staying in someone else's bed. But I guess it's because I'm just odd like that. I have all these little habits I guess.

I walked into the en-suite bathroom of my hotel room and stripped off my t-shirt and sweatpants I was wearing, stepping into the shower. The hot water brushed on to my body, and it felt good. I always love showers, better than bathes in my opinion.

They made me feel fresher, and they're quick.

Once I was done in the shower, I wrapped the towel that was nearest to me around my body and got another one to wrap my hair in.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked…. Like me.

I looked healthy.

I then looked away from the mirror, knowing that if I stared too long I would start pointing out my flaws, even though a lot of people would disagree.

In fact, I know one particular person who would disagree with me.

"_You're beautiful Dems, don't ever change…." _His husky voice echoed in my mind.

I couldn't think about him. No, I needed to stop thinking about him.

Even once.

I needed to forget him, or at least forget those possible feelings I had that broke our friendship.

I needed to try and forget the horrible past.

I knew that I needed to recover properly before I ever spoke to him again.

I knew that if I tried to speak to me him again, I know I would just stop myself from ever moving past what happened.

But maybe in a year's time it will be okay.

After all, he was best friend.

He was always there for me and I can't lose him completely. I would not have survived as long as I did on the Camp Rock 2 tour back in 2010 if it weren't for him. In fact, in some ways, he's one of the people I need to thank the most over these past couple years.

Yet he's the same guy who stole my heart.

The same guy who hasn't given my heart back.

But have I got his?

I don't know.

I'm never sure.

I just wish things could have been better between us in the end.

I guess if it weren't famous, things would have been a whole lot less complicated.

I miss him so much, and I hate it.

But I am glad that I haven't been totally weak without him.

But it's like…. I need him, but at the same time I don't.

But I can't be away from him, or at least I hadn't been able to when I first got into treatment.

I wanted to be with him, I wanted him to stay.

But I knew that if I didn't let go of him, he wouldn't have been able to move on with his life. I knew I couldn't be selfish, because I truly cared about him and I didn't want to ruin his life with my neediness and my weakness.

I went into treatment because of him.

Purely because I needed to prove to him and myself that I could pull through and be the better person. I couldn't let him continuing on trying to help him when he had his own life, with his own struggles.

Things ended stupidly anyway, I couldn't even told him how much he meant to me. It just came out in a mess, nervous laughter or whatever.

Thankfully, he's been doing great. Or at least I think so.

Last I heard he was on Broadway!

So proud of him, so fucking proud.

He deserves all the recognition because he is so talented, intelligent, charismatic, charming, intuitive, funny and all these other amazing things that I won't continue to list because it would take far too long.

On the plus side, he's so handsome and breathtakingly gorgeous.

Demi, focus for god sake!

I need to stop thinking about him.

I needed to focus on my life.

I needed to stop looking back at what could have been…

What could have been between me and Nicholas Jerry Jonas.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Nick's POV**

Phew. So, How To Succeed rehearsals.

Life has been pretty hectic for me recently.

I have not had anything time off…. Well barely anyway.

I was just finishing, considering it was already 5pm.

I said goodbye to everyone and walked out with Michael. He was a great guy to be working with on the show and it's been fun hanging out with them all.

Things have been so different. I never thought I would see the day where I would be in Broadway. My life has just gotten so… extraordinary. I don't know what I did to deserve such a great life.

I guess karma has been good to me.

It's a couple of weeks to the show and I'm really excited.

But I don't know… I don't want to sound ungrateful, but it's like something's been missing.

I mean, it kind of sucked that I broke up with Delta… but I think it was for the best considering she still was dealing with her ex and I don't think I could hold a candle to him to be honest. I wouldn't be surprised if they try and work things out and get back together.

I just wish I could figure why I haven't been 100% satisfied with my life recently.

How can I possibly be unsatisfied when life has been so good to me?

It puzzles me so….

Michael then zapped me out of my daydreaming, "You alright Nick? You zoned out just then."

I frowned, not really sure if I was alright. But surely I'm fine?

"Yeah sorry, I was just thinking."

Michael smiled lightly at me, "No worries. I was just asking if you wanted to catch a Starbucks before you head home. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Don't be silly Michael, I'll tag along. I could do with a nice caramel frappucino anyway." Michael beamed at me, "Yay! Have one on me for doing so well today! You're doing really well in this and you're going to kill it!"

I chuckled, "Awww no…. I couldn't have done it without you man. You don't have to buy me one"

Michael giggled, grinning and telling me to stop it otherwise he'd have to tackle me into a huge hug. "You're getting one from me whether you like it or not!" I guess I couldn't argue so I just shrugged my shoulders and gave him a smile.

He was such a great guy. I'd never met someone so enthusiastic about life, he was just like a ray of sunshine all the time that I couldn't stay in a bad mood around him.

It kind of reminded me of someone…

Oh crap… that's what's missing.

I can't believe it never crossed my mind!

I've been so darn stupid…stupid this whole time!

That damn beautiful girl who left my life a year and a half ago.

The one who went into treatment because she broke down.

The gorgeous, amazing girl who left me so I could get on with my life without her.

Demetria Devonne Lovato.

She's not here with me.

She's gone.

Well, not dead gone… but out of my life gone.

I bet she's happy… I hope she's happy.

I need to see her…

But I can't.

I can't go back there.

Not while she's doing so well.

I read in the magazines and online that's she doing well. I still follow her on Twitter.

I am really glad that she's been healthy and happy. I don't know for sure if she's truly happy… but if she needs me, she'll call me. And clearly, she doesn't need me right now.

But you know what?

I fucking well need her and it is killing me so much.

I mean, it's not like I'm breaking down without her… but every night she's been in my dreams, and I know that if I don't see her soon, I will keep dreaming of her.

I kind of wish she could call me... just so I could hear her voice.

But I can't see her calling me anytime soon.

It's so weird that she was once my bestest friend ever, (and yes I know that sounds cliche) to being a somewhat perhaps, close by acquaintance who I never speak to anymore. It's unbelievable how well I've been able to stay sane without her by my side.

I don't care if she's still broken, I can fix her. Or at least try to. I want to finish what I tried to start because I can't not let myself be away from her. But of course, right now, I can't go near her unless I'll break her heart. I know because this is what she needs. She needs to forget about the past, and she's not ready to see me again.

I know her too well.

Once again, Michael brought me back. I must stop getting distracted. "So Nick, how's everything? Talk to me."

"Oh erm... fine. Everything's fine."

"Really? You don't seem sure."

"No really, it's all good."

"Well, I can be your older brother if you want. I know you already have 2, but I'm better because we're not related." He smiled at me reassuringly.

I chuckled, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

There was a slight silence when Michael just said out of nowhere, "You're missing someone... aren't you? Someone's distracting you am I right?"

I chuckled again because I was almost speechless. "You secretly a mind reader man? That's crazy that you got that scarily accurate."

"Awww I know how it feels. By any chance is it Demi?"

I nodded, feeling all shy all of a sudden.

"Don't worry Nick, I'm sure things will work out between you. Things happen for a reason, and we can't change them. I mean you can, but it may just make it worse. So if she needs you, she'll run to you. Don't run to her because otherwise you'll scare her."

"Thanks Michael, it's good to hear you say that. I mean, it's not exactly the best thing I want to hear, but you're definitely right and I need to be able to let her go for a while."

He smiled, "I think you need a hug."

Surprisingly, I did. I really needed a friend, and I was glad I had him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Demi's POV**

Filming this documentary for the first time felt really weird.

But at the same time, I felt like I could be myself.

I wanted to let out my emotions, but I didn't feel the need to cry. I wasn't going to cry unless it was necessary, and since I'm okay now... I'm unbroken rather, I can just be calm and relaxed. I was once I got into it and starting speaking.

I looked back at the first few scenes, and it felt... realistic. It didn't feel like I was being fake or trying to look happy, I just said whatever came out of my mind. I couldn't show people this pretend Demi that I have been these past couple of years. If I hadn't let it all out, there would have been no point of doing this documentary.

But today hasn't been easy. I will probably cry later because... that's how I cope I guess. It's the healthy way to cope. I'm proud of myself for not touching a single razor for the past couple of months. I have definitely thought about it when I have been low, but that's part of the process.

The process of accepting that I am depressed and needing to keep myself away from cutting completely. And of course, continuing to eating healthily too.

But things have been better, much better than a year ago.

But I'm finding it harder and harder to keep myself away from him.

Away from the one guy... the one guy that made me feel the most special. The one that meant the world to me.

Gosh, I really want to talk to Nick.

Should I call him? Text him maybe?

Ugh, I wish I could just be happy without him... move on with my life.

But he was my best friend, THE best friend who had my back the entire time.

If I hadn't had him by my side, I would have committed suicide by now for sure.

I miss every little thing about him. I even miss his flaws!

I've never felt this way about ANYONE. Not even Joe.

I mean, I dated I Joe! I never properly started anything with Nick because...

...I was scared.

Petrified.

I knew I wasn't ready for anything after what happened between me and Joe.

Things were going miserably.

I can talk to Joe now occasionally on Twitter, maybe even text because I know that he's a lot easier to talk to than his younger brother.

Why?

Because in the end, I didn't really love him.

I mean yeah okay, I loved him as a friend.

But I didn't fall in love with him like I thought I did.

I don't even know now for sure if I'd fallen in love with anyone!

But maybe, just maybe... I did.

But not for a boyfriend, not for a friend...

A best friend. The bestest friend I've ever had for these past nearly 6 years.

Maybe, I fell in love with Nick.

Or maybe, I was imagining it... just that once more.

To do this day, I don't know.

I don't know if I truly will know.

This whole thing has been so complicated. I've been stuck in between friends and becoming more than that with Nick.

It was like... we were friends with benefits, without sex.

I mean, I haven't really had sex.

I've kept myself away from that.

I nearly did it with Joe, and I am so glad that I didn't. I want to save myself.

Maybe I don't need to save myself for marriage, but I am not going to have sex until I feel I am ready. But I have done other things of course.

I'd rather not talk about some of the stupid things I have done because I need a clean slate.

But Nick.

He's so contagious.

He's everything I need, and everything I don't need at the same time.

The best thing was when I kissed him that one time.

It was so soft and gentle, at the same time I thought I was going to melt like butter into his arms.

It was on the South America tour in my dressing room. He was comforting because I was having one of my moments of weakness.

It was because of my so called friends at the time were bugging me to death. They weren't making me feel better at all. I felt like they were almost bullying me. They kept talking about my eating issues and kept judging me and it pissed me off so much that I punched one of them, Shorty.

But Nick was there and he understood why I did that. He was the only one who was helping me on that tour because everyone else was oblivious to how I felt.

Even Joe.

But that was because he was spending time with Ashley.

Anyway, I had to try and forget what was between me and Nick.

It hurt so fucking much, but I couldn't look back.

But everytime I think about that night in the dressing room, I can't help feeling that I wish I could experience it one more time.

Those few moments of bliss, the whole world feeling like it had stopped turning.

The song Stop The World blaring through my ears like a wave.

That literally was our song in the end.

We wrote it together, we felt it together.

We stopped the world with a taste of a kiss.

His lips against mine so sweetly.

He tasted like a Starbucks Chocolate Frappucino.

But that might be because we had a light night drink from the cafe before we came back to get some sleep.

It didn't last long before he stopped us.

I know why he stopped us.

He knew he couldn't continue because of what I was going through.

But I didn't want him to stop.

"_Hey, don't stop... it's okay."_

"_No Demi, I can't."_

"_Why not?"_

"_You're not stable right now, you don't want to kiss me."_

"_Are you kidding? Of course I want to kiss you!"_

_He gently pushed me away, standing up so that he was away from the bed. It was pure agony when he did that. I didn't want him to let me go._

"_Dem, you may want to now... but you'll regret it."_

"_Nick, we kissed for like 5 seconds. That is barely anything."_

"_It was long enough. I can't kiss you knowing that I could hurt you more than you already are."_

"_Nick you don't get it. I want to kiss you because you take the pain away."_

_He looked at me with slight astonishment._

_I looked back at him, pleading with my eyes to hold me... kiss me once more._

_He then frowned, "B-but... I don't... why, why... how do I, I take the pain away?"_

"_Because you've almost made me feel whole again. I've been a wreck these past few months and I need someone to hold on to, and you're that person."_

_His eyes were glued to me, his face getting more and more shocked by the second._

_He sat back down on the bed, sitting a few inches away from me._

_I turned to properly face him, I analysed his whole face._

"_But Dem, I haven't done much. I've just been..."_

"_...been there for me? Caressed me? Held me? Sweet talked me? Completed me? That's not 'just' something Nick, that's everything I need. You've given everything for me to be happy. You've spent almost everyday with me, making sure I smiled or laughed at least once a day. Okay sure, I've not always been a happy bunny and yes, I'm trying to get better. But you're the only person I can trust at the moment, you're the only person I can actually be myself, and not worry about what you're going to say. And do you know why? Because you don't judge, you don't tell me off for my mistakes, you encourage me. You catch me when I fall everytime Nick."_

_His face was in awe, completely speechless._

_He could not say anything to that because he knew I was right._

_Instead of trying to argue he just smiled at me, his beautiful smile._

_And finally, he kissed me lightly just a little bit more. We were standing up this time, and I can tell he wanted to properly kiss me. His arms were cradling me into a hug, he felt so good._

_I smiled adoringly in the kiss, wanting to go fully into it myself. I had to hold back a moan of pleasure._

_He was too scared to do go further, even though I could have gladly done so._

_He was right though, he knew best for me. He knew I had to get better._

_He knew that kissing me wasn't the right thing, but definitely the best feeling ever for me._

Oh gosh, why cruel world.

Man, I wish something had happened now.

What if I had taken that leap?

Would we be together now?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello guys! This is the first time talking to you guys because I felt rude that I haven't said anything. I hope you guys like this 4th chapter :) I really am glad that some people are reading this because I'm quite proud of what I've written so far. I love Nemi so much it hurts. I have been a shipper since summer 2010. I still hope to death that Demi and Nick will be together one day. If you want, you can tell me what you think of this chapter.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Loony-Loonz**

Chapter 4

**Nick's POV**

9am. It's a new morning, looking beautiful here in New York.

I had a day off today, which kind of relieved me because I needed some alone time.

Maybe it wasn't exactly a good idea to be alone without Michael, considering I was thinking of ringing Demi every 2 minutes.

But I had to fight the urge otherwise I would never let her go.

It has taken me a year to be able to stop calling her.

I've realised that what is the point in calling her when she was never going to pick up the phone?

I also realised that Demi had her phone taken away for a while when she went into treatment, because she was not allowed any contact except with her parents when she was in there. I guess it was for security reasons and the fact that I was someone from her past, which she needed to get away from.

But Demi didn't want to get rid of me.

Not until she came out.

She has not once tried to call me once since she got out of treatment.

I texted her when she did, but she never replied.

I sent a few texts after that, but still no reply.

I even called her, but then I found out from a friend of ours that she got rid of that phone, so I could never call her again.

Until that is, Joe kindly offered me her number when she gave it to him via a text. But this really pissed me off because I thought that how could she not give me her number but give it to Joe.

But I realised it was because she could still talk to Joe without getting hurt anymore.

If she ever spoke to me, I know that she would not be able to move on.

She needed to move on for the sake of her well being.

Us being together was forbidden because it caused too much emotion and chaos.

So I have actually been keeping my distance as much as possible until we do encounter, which is bound to happen eventually.

But I still couldn't resist the urge of calling her.

I still wondered where she could be right now.

For all I knew, she could be walking down the streets of New York right now and I would never see her because it's far too big to find anyone.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't well known. Because then I could just go anywhere without anyone spotting me.

I could go find her.

I wish she wasn't famous either.

Not that I don't want people to see her talent...

I just wish we could have just been classed as people who no one knew except friends and family.

I hate all this fame bullshit, and I never wish to get sucked into all the hype and paparazzi and all that crap that makes people become pre-madonnas.

I'm a regular guy, I will always be a regular guy.

Sure, I can play guitar and sing... but there's millions of people that can do that.

Music is all I have.

I only got famous because I got lucky; someone heard my voice and they liked it.

I got a record deal with Disney, or rather Hollywood Records.

But I wish I could have started differently.

Sometimes I wish I was just a regular musician who wasn't famous, signed to a much lower label that didn't control me half the time.

But I mustn't be ungrateful for what I have, because I have a lot to be thankful for.

A loving family and friends, a great place to live, plenty of health insurance and food to eat.

I'm lucky, and very privileged.

Being privileged like this can also benefit others when sending the money I have to charities who are need of help. I love doing that because I choose to give to make those happy.

I'm someone who much prefers to see someone else happy than myself.

So if Demi is happy right now and doesn't need me, I choose to stay as happy as I can too.

It will be difficult, but it's the only option I have right now...

unless she calls me.

Which is never going to happen.

Well, I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but love hasn't not been good to me.

The first person I ever loved was Miley, and that went down the drain.

But that was partially my fault, considering I was already falling for Demi at the end of our relationship.

I don't think Demi has any idea how much I care for her.

But it's not going to make up for the mistakes we both made.

I still remember the kiss like it was yesterday.

I wonder if she ever thinks about it sometimes too.

It was practically perfect, I've never had a kiss like it.

I wanted to continue, but I didn't want to break her heart either.

But man, the way she looked at me when I did stop the kiss... I may could have broken her heart anyway, or punch it at least.

Maybe I was just seeing it I don't know.

Goddamn I just wanted to see her for just a second again.

I can imagine how good she would look.

Her red hair, her beautiful face, her curves that drive me wild.

Why the hell couldn't I just forget her?

Oh yeah, she's far too contagious... that's why.

I heard she was filming her Stay Strong documentary yesterday, possibly more today as well.

Maybe I could try and see her when she was finished?

No, why would I?

I need help.

Seriously.

My phone rang then.

It was on the coffee table... buzzing like mad.

Should have I answered it?

Who could it possibly be?

I picked it up, and looked at the number.

It wasn't a number I recognised.

Huh... I never get an anonymous call.

How could they possibly get my number? Has it been leaked?

I answered it hesitantly, "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Nick... right?" It sounded like a woman, like... a woman I had heard before.

"Who wants to know?"

"This is Dianna, Demi's mom."

"Oh! Hi Mrs De La Garza, it's been a while."

"Yes, indeed it has. How are you?"

"I'm fine thank you. How did you get my number? Is everything okay?"

"It doesn't matter right now. Is it okay if we meet sometime? I know that it might be difficult, but I would like to speak to you where we can have a long conversation face to face."

"Erm... sure, but why? What do we need to talk about?"

"Well... you were close to my daughter, and... she doesn't want to admit it, but she misses you."

"She does?"

"Yes, and even though she's been getting better... I know she wants to see you."

"Err well pardon me if I sound rude Mrs De La Garza, but I don't think it's a good idea if she sees me."

"Yes I know that, but at the same time... she does need to see you. She needs to face you so she can get over whatever happened between you two. She never properly told me, but I can tell you didn't mean any harm. I also know that you care about her a lot... right?"

"Yes, very much so Mrs De La Garza."

"Nicholas, how many times have I told you to call me Dianna?"

I chuckled slightly, knowing I could hear a smirk in her voice too. "Sorry Dianna."

"It's okay. Now, I have to go... but we must agree on a date. When are you free?"

"Hmm... well, I'm only free today to be honest."

"Ah right yes, your musical. How about I come and see you on the opening night? I was planning to see the show anyway, aside what Demi thinks."

"Oh really? Well, that's very kind. Okay yeah, we'll talk after the show?"

"That would be great. See you then Nick."

"Bye Dianna."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Demi's POV**

Another day of filming... it was even more serious and scary today.

The fact that everybody was going to watch this in a few weeks, it felt weird that I was admitting that I had still quite recently cut myself and purged since treatment.

I mean yeah, it was good I was letting it out... but I still hate this feeling of guilt, the fact that I HAVE purged and cut myself SINCE I LEFT TREATMENT.

That's not what I want to tell my fans.

I want them to be proud of me, not feel ashamed.

But at the same time, it feels good that I'm letting them know that they're not alone.

It's good that even though I'm still trying to stay strong, at least my fans can feel that they're not the only ones who suffer, meaning they will feel less bad about themselves... and just learn to accept that it's okay to be unhappy. And when I say okay, it's actually quite normal. You can't help being depressed if you're not the one who made yourself like that. If you have a reason to be unhappy, then you need to face it.

But that's what I believe anyway.

I love them all so much and to be honest... I don't think they realise how much they mean to me and how much they have helped me.

I nearly wanted to die, and they stopped that.

I mean I never really thought about suicide, but I knew that if I had cut myself too far then I would not have cared. I would have just stared at it, and let it kill me slowly.

But I don't want to feel like that anymore. No, I want to be healthy and happy.

And with my friends, family and fans by my side... I will literally rise like a skyscraper, away from all the shame, hate and misery.

From now on I can't let people get me down, because I know they're just jealous of my success and want to make me miserable because they're miserable themselves.

Anyway, aside the whole documentary thing... I am having real trouble trying to get the kiss out of my head. I can't stop thinking about it now that I know it's the problem.

Well, I've always known it was the problem, but it's become more clear... knowing that I can't see him yet otherwise I may just break down again.

I've also noticed mom has been more worried about than usual, which confuses me slightly since I have been a lot better than I was. I mean I'm not feeling amazing, but I'm feeling good.

So why is she worrying?

Has she got something on her mind?

Was she planning something?

It sounds strange, but it really feels like she's hiding something from me...

and she never hides anything from me.

Well, I may as well ask her when I get back to the family home.

I've been staying with my parents this past couple of weeks because of filming the documentary. It seemed much easier, considering the treatment centre wasn't far from here.

I get in my land rover car, and plug the keys in the ignition. I wave to everyone goodnight from the studio as I began moving the car out of my parking space.

I decided to put the radio on.

When funnily enough, Nick came on.

I wanted to turn it off, but I couldn't straight away.

It was my favourite song off his album... I must have left Radio Disney on by accident.

It was Olive And An Arrow.

Why was it my favourite?

Because it was a really encouraging song... I don't know.

It felt like a heartwarming song and it really just got to me for some reason.

It was encouraging because it was about true love... and I believe that true love still exists.

I think it was also about someone special to Nick.

It may sound stupid, but I always wondered if it could have been about me.

Stronger and Who I Am are my other favourite songs off the album.

I also love Stay, but that never made the album sadly.

I think Nick had planned to make a studio version, but never got round to it.

I did hear that Joe, Kevin & Nick could be making a new album soon so maybe that will make the album.

Holy crap why am I thinking all this?

I turned off the song. I couldn't listen anymore.

After 20 minutes or so of driving, I arrived at my parents' house.

As I walked in I could smell mom was making something real good.

Was it my favourite? Chicken fajitas?

Sure smelled like it. I loved it when mom made mexican food.

But this makes me even more suspicious... she must have bad news or something to tell me so she's making fajitas to make up for it.

What the hell did she need to tell me?

Okay calm it Demi, she might just been making it specially just for tonight.

But why tonight? That's the question.

Ugh, just go in Demi and chill.

I got my keys out of my bag and turned them into the lock.

I opened the door to find mom setting the table for me, dad and I'm presuming Dallas and Madison.

She smiled her usual gentle smile, "Hi darling, good to see you're back. How's the documentary going?"

I smiled back at her warmly, "It's great thanks mom. How was your day?"

"Oh good, yes... very good."

She looked slightly tense. Huh, asking her seemed to make her uncomfortable. I tried to eye her, but she wasn't budging for weakness yet.

"Great. Anything interesting happen... at all?"

Mom then looked at me, like she knew I was trying to squeeze out anything that she was hiding from me.

She sighed, "Goddamn I can't get anything past you can I?"

I shrugged and crossed my arms, "I know you too well."

"Well, you see... there is something that I was hoping I could tell you another time instead of now. It's something that you're going to find hard to take in, considering you're really stubborn right now and..."

I gasped, realising what she was implying.

It was about Nick, wasn't it.

I knew she was hiding something big!

Oh god, why does she want to talk about Nick again?

She looked at me with a slight scared look on her face, "Please don't hate me sweetie..."

"Why are you bringing up Nick again mom?"

"I'm sorry darling but I really think you should talk to him."

"Why mom? I'm not ready yet..."

"No darling, I think you are. You need to face him. You're just hiding away now sweetie."

"Mom! I can make my own decisions." I was slightly irritated now.

Okay, maybe more than slightly.

Then dad came in, "Whoa whoa... what's going on here?"

I frowned at my mom, angered. She looked at dad and her expression calmed.

"Nothing darling, me and Demi are just having a chat."

"Are you sure? I thought I heard Demi raise her voice."

I sighed, "Look dad... mom wants me to talk to Nick. What do you think of this situation?"

Dad sighed himself, looking down at the floor shaking his head.

"Dianna... didn't I tell you she would freak?"

"Eddie, you know I'm right."

How was she right? No, she's not right.

"How, mom?"

"Because you're not fixing the issue by ignoring him Demi." Her voice was very firm then, just when she was starting to get angry.

"I'm not ignoring him, I'm leaving the past behind."

"Are you Demi, are you really?"

"Mom."

It was Dallas' turn to speak out of nowhere.

Mom turned to Dallas, slightly surprised she spoke.

"Yes?"

"Let Demi decide mom."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Demi's POV**

My mom looked at Dallas like as if she knew Dallas was right.

Because she was.

I didn't want to take sides, but wasn't it my decision?

If I wanted to talk to Nick, I will decide that.

I'm far too scared right now.

I'm not fixed yet, I'm still suffering.

I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I'm worried I will just break down again if I see him even as a glimpse. I don't want it to end in flames like last time. I want to be able to talk to him civilly without crying my eyes out or clinging on to him.

He needs to get on with his life. If I go back to him, then I'm just holding on to him again, which will mean he won't move on and will continue looking after me.

I need to look after myself, make myself get better. My bipolar disorder is between me and myself only. He can't fix me even if he tried.

"Thank you Dallas." I smiled at her slightly, she smiled weakly back at me.

Then my little sis came into the room, "What's going on? Is everything okay?" I can see worry in her eyes as she looked at me. Gosh, she looks so much like mom.

"Don't worry honey, it's nothing serious. Go back upstairs, dinner's not quite ready yet." Mom was keeping her away in case we all starting grabbing each other's throats... even though that rarely happens. But I understand she doesn't want Madison to get upset.

Madison huffed and rolled her eyes, walking back upstairs in her summer dress that I put her in earlier. She was so adorable still sometimes. She carried her teddy bear with her all the time. Okay yeah, she is 10 but still. I remember having some of my cuddly toys until I was 12.

In fact no, I still have one left now.

Yeah I know, I'm a cuddly toy addict. They're just so fluffy and they make me feel safe somehow.

But they've never made me feel as safe as Nick has.

Ugh god why, why did it have to be him?

Why did I have to be crazy about him?

Of all people, it had to be my ex's brother.

But he's charming, caring, sweet, gorgeous, intelligent, understanding and everything that I need... but at the same time he's my past.

Mom then sighed once more. I know she was trying to help, but she wasn't. I needed to focus on fixing my life before I even thought about fixing my relationships.

"Mom, Dallas is right. I can't let you decide what's best for me."

She looked at me, her mouth twitching into a sad smile. She nodded, "Yeah I know." She looked down at the floor, looking hopeless.

Oh god why did she always make me feel guilty?

"Don't be sad mom, it's just... I'm 19, and I don't think I'm ready to talk to Nick again. Okay?"

She nodded again, looking at me properly this time. "Okay yeah, you're right. I can't control your life. I understand completely." She gave me a weak smile and brought me into a hug. I hugged her back, still feeling her sadness. I know that she probably is slightly upset, but she really is trying to make me change my mind.

That's the one thing about mom I would change.

Her persuasive behaviour.

She's always tried to persuade me to do what she thinks it's best, and sometimes it really pisses me off. I know she means well, but I don't think she's right this time.

"Mom, stop it. I know you're trying to make me feel guilty... but I'm not budging."

"I know you're not. But remember this: don't feel afraid. It may seem like right now, you're escaping your past... but you're not. You're running from what you need to face. You left Nick heartbroken because he failed to look after you. And even though that's not your fault, you left treatment and you never said a word to him. You didn't even drop a text to tell him you're okay. I'm sorry Demi but I think that was the least you couldn't have done for him."

Mom stormed out of the room, leaving me speechless.

What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

Dad and Dallas looked at me with astonishment, completely conflicted the same way I was by what my mother just said.

I finally closed my mouth from just being shocked.

I then frowned and slightly chuckled for a second to myself and shook my head, leaving the house, going through the back entrance.

I heard Dallas shout after me, as I walked away quickly. I couldn't really run in these boots.

"Demi, wait!"

I didn't turn around, I just walked... I didn't really want to speak right now.

"Demi please stop..." She ran right up to me and grabbed my arm, turning me round to face her.

"What is it Dallas? I'm not coming back. I'm tempted to just go out for a while."

"Look Demi... I'm not going to say mom is right..."

"But?"

"But... is it really true that you haven't contacted him at all?"

I sighed. I wanted to lie, and say that I had contacted him... but I'm far too scared.

"Yeah, it's true."

"Oh Dem... how come?"

"Because I'm too scared. I don't know what I can say!"

"Well, you don't have to say much. All you have to do is send him a quick text saying 'hey I'm alright now... out of treatment'. But instead he has to find out through the tabloids?"

"Look, you don't know how hard I want to talk to him. But I know I'll just break down and mess it all up again, just like how I left it. I'm not strong enough to go up to and pretend everything's fully better, because it's not."

"Demi, I know it's not easy for you... but you need to try and say something to him. You can't leave him forever. He's crazy about you, and I know you're still crazy about him."

I sighed again for the billionth time, but it came out more like a huff or a groan.

"I know I know... mom's right once again."

"Well not completely, but kinda... yeah. But she is wrong to try and pressure you to talk to him straight away. I mean, it's only been a year and a couple of months since you came out."

I didn't want to give in, but maybe mom was right. Have I really been kidding myself this whole time? Am I really this scared that I can't even send a text? It does seem wrong to let him worry about me all this time. I realised how bad this all was now.

"Oh god you know what? I need to speak to him."

Dallas' eyes widened slightly, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Yep. I can't keep leaving it on this hanger... he needs to know I'm getting better."

"Okay. Well then, should we go back inside?"

I shrugged, "Yeah I guess so."

So we walked back in and went to find mom.

"Mom?"

We looked around the living room, the bathroom and the dining room. No sign. We both raced upstairs to find her and dad in their bedroom. They were obviously having a conversation about this situation so I cleared my throat to alert them I was outside their door.

Mom and dad looked at us. Mom looked like she had been crying a bit. She looked away from me after a few seconds, staring down at the floor.

"Mom. We need to talk... alone."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Nick's POV**

I'm about to order take out for dinner, considering I wasn't in the mood to really cook and I'm not that good anyway. I was dying for some chinese for once. I don't normally have chinese food, but sometimes I like to pork away.

Thankfully chinese is not that bad for you, but I will do some running on the treadmill in my hotel room just in case I can't get my blood sugar levels down.

I know it seems weird to have a treadmill, but I have a special room, it's not just one... it's like 2 big rooms. I paid a little extra, but I always did anyway. So I have the gym part of the room, and then my bedroom. The gym part is next the kitchen and sitting area.

Technically I rent this room, so this room is always reserved for me. It's like a third home, if I count the one I used to live in when I was younger. I use this room whether I'm staying in New York. I know the owners really well.

Anyway so today was weird.

I mean, I don't know if it will get weirder... but it was almost surreal getting a call from Dianna. She's great, but it felt weird. Why would she want to meet up with me when Demi wants nothing to do with me anymore?

It's strange all of sudden that she's got in touch with me when it's been since November 2010 that Demi spoke to me... and it's now March 2012. Nearly 2 years have gone by.

But I guess it's something major... maybe Demi's actually got bad again and she wants to ask me for help? I don't know.

My stomach rumbled. Right well I better order food.

I picked up my cellphone from the table and dialled the number that I knew so well for New York Asian, which also was a sushi takeaway place too.

"Hello this is New York Asian Takeaway how may I help you?" I recognised the Chinese man's voice who I had spoken to before, but never catched his name.

"Hi there. Could I order number 11, chicken peanut satay, erm.. number 98, crispy chilli beef and... the plain chow mein please."

"Okay... that's number 11, 98 and err...151. Okay got it. Anything else?"

"No thank you. Could you deliver it please?"

"Err yes... what's your address?"

"Paramount Hotel, 235 West 46th Street." There was a pause.

"Paramount Hotel yes?"

"Yeah."

"Okay yes. Your order shall be there in about 10 to 15 minutes.. ok?"

"Yes thank you that's fine."

"Okay bye bye."

I know it seems weird, but whether I talk to someone that works at a restaurant or any place where they're trying and earn a living, I always wonder if I could have ended up like that. I mean I wouldn't mind, but I can imagine it's a poor suffering for some when they have so little money. I'm glad that I am one of those people though that didn't let the fame go to my head, unlike some famous people.

I hated how I get treated like I'm something better than people who aren't famous. I think it's really unfair sometimes.

I'm just as successful as a high paid lawyer or businessman... but their work is never seen by anybody because it's a typical job. But it's still successful.

I mean I'm 19 for christs sake! Why do I get treated like royalty all the time? Or at least most of the time. It doesn't make any sense to me.

To pass some time over for a little bit I decided to go into the bedroom part of the suite and picked up my guitar that was by the window, it was my oldest acoustic guitar that I always took with me. I also had my electric guitar in the cupboard, but that was for gigs.

I started playing some random shizzle on it when I heard my phone ringing in the living area. So I put the guitar down on the bed and ran to it.

I picked it up and it was once again, another number I didn't recognise. What was with this happening all of a sudden?

I answered the call, "Hello?"

"Hey Nick... it's er, me... Demi."

I froze.

Was I dreaming? Had this whole day been a dreaming?

Holy crap what do I say?

I cleared my throat and spoke very quietly, "Oh hi Demi..."

"How's it going? Everything been okay?"

"Good... ahem, yeah good. H-how about you?"

"Fine. It's strange to hear your voice again..." She was breathing slightly heavily into the phone, it felt weird. Her voice sounded quite husky.

"Yeah.. it's been a while since you er, left."

"I know. I'm real sorry I haven't called or texted you."

"It's fine, I erm... totally understand." I was pacing round the room out of nerves. I was surprised I hadn't said anything stupid yet...

"Thank you for understanding Nick. I er... I have erm... missed you."

Nick sighed, "I have missed you too Dem... so much."

There was a pause... she must be finding this difficult.

"I know you have... and I really really am sorry for leaving you like that."

"Why are you apologising? It's not your fault."

"It kind of is... I didn't really give you an option."

"Look Demi... all I've ever wanted is for you to be okay... and if it meant not talking to me, then I would gladly wait for you."

"Aw man... you really have to say things like that don't you? You're too good to me you... you're so precious."

I chuckled, "I'm not good enough!"

"Oh please... you did all you could Nick. I really wish I could hug you right now."

"Oh Dem... me too. You don't know how much. It's killing me that I haven't seen your face in so long, you're beautiful face."

"I've missed your face too... you've always had such a lovely face."

I was probably smiling like an idiot by now.

She then said, "Hopefully I will see you soon, yeah?"

"As long as it's okay with you."

"Yeah... it is."

Oh gosh I wish I could just cradle her in my arms right now... kiss her and tell her everything's going to be okay.

But obviously I can't.

But man I hope I can soon... she's just so perfect to me.

"Okay, great. Let me know when you are... we don't have to see it each other until you know you're completely ready. "

"Stop worrying about me Nick. It will be fine. I want to see you, really."

"Okay okay fine.. I'll stop being doctor Nick." I swear once I said that, I could almost hear her smile.. maybe even a slight giggle.

"It's great to hear your voice again. Speak soon... Jick Nonas."

I chuckled, I couldn't help it. Just like old times.

"Goodbye Lemi Dovato." I hung up and stared down at my phone for a moment, still smiling like an idiot.

She called me.

She actually rung me up and spoke to me.

I guess she really is getting better.

And once again... I'm so fucking proud of her.

She can't get anymore perfect for me.

We completely intertwine.

I wish I could have spoken to her face to face just then... just to see how different she looks... to touch her hair, give her a hug.

I need her way more than I thought I did.

And you know what?

She will be mine again if it's the last thing I do.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Demi's POV**

6:55pm

How To Succeed In Business Without Even Trying.

Sounds like a comedy doesn't it? Never seen it in action before.

Not until now.

Yeah... I'm doing it.

I'm approaching Nick within surprise tonight.

He has no idea I'm here.

It wasn't my idea... it was my mother's. I'm at Broadway to see him.

It happened a month ago when I had just finished talking to him on the phone...

"_So? What did he say?"_

"_Ugh gosh mom... he was his usual amazing self of course."_

"_Ha, well he loves doesn't he, of course he's going to be sweet to you."_

"_I know mom, I know."_

"_So... explain the conversation..."_

"_Well, I babbled a little really. I said I missed him and how I wished I could see him and stuff, the stuff that I wanted to say."_

"_And his reply?"_

"_He misses me so much he says, he wants to see my beautiful face. He was just as soft and happy and gentle with me just before I left. He hasn't changed, he's still the same old Nick."_

"_That's great Demi. I feel like a love doctor with you two."_

"_Yeah mom... why is that?"_

"_Because I know you're crazy about him. He's treated you much better than Joe did."_

_I sighed. "Yeah but mom, why do you want me to be with him?"_

"_Because in my heart, it's saying that he's the guy you're going to end up being with for a long time... maybe till the day you die!"_

"_But... aren't you supposed to be more like, 'you can't settle down now, you need to get better before you settle down' and blah blah blah..."_

"_Well yeah, I want you to get better of course honey. But at the same time, it's killing you that you've had to keep away from him. You've been stable, but you haven't been happy. You may have been content enough to cope, but I don't know... it's like he's your glue or something. I mean, that song you wrote together... it's like that song was how you both feel!"_

"_What, Stop The World? That was originally written for someone else..."_

"_I know that Demi... but are you sure you weren't thinking of Nick when you wrote it?"_

_I had to think for a moment, as I looked down... knowing that for the love of that is all good and pure that mom was fucking right._

_I didn't want to admit she was right, but I felt defeated._

"_Yeah yeah okay fine mom... yes, I thought of Nick when I wrote it. But I didn't know how I felt about him then, and I'm not 100% sure now."_

"_Not 100% sure now? Pfft, yes you are. You're in love with him Demi, and it's about time you admitted that to yourself. You care about him and you put his happiness in front of yours by going to treatment. Because even though it was killing him that you were gone all that time, it made him happy that you got help. Like you've said, all he wants is for you to be happy."_

"_Goddamnit mom stop being so right and.. accurate and darn right annoyingly... sentimental!"_

_She laughs, "I'm sorry darling. I'll shut up next time."_

_I smirk at her and giggle a little. In the end, she's the best mom I could ask for._

_But she stops smiling and looks at me seriously, "There's something you need to know, so listen." I frown slightly, and I nod._

_She takes in a deep breath, "I'm going to see How To Succeed, and I have an extra ticket."_

_She holds out 2 tickets to prove that she really is going._

_And I already guessed she wanted me to go with her._

"_Oh god mom... I don't know."_

"_Just take it. And if you really don't want to go, then you can give it back to me and I'll take Dallas."_

_I sighed and stared at it for a moment, it almost flashing like silver._

_I gingerly took it, not being able to contemplate what it would be like if I was going to actually see him. What if I do go? Holy shit I just... I can't._

"_Mom I..."_

"_I know. It's a scary thought. But you have 2 weeks to decide, so don't panic now."_

_I nodded, "Okay mom, thanks."_

_She smiled me, her reassuring smile._

"_Whatever decision you make, I won't judge."_

So after that, I almost instantly decided that it was in fact a good idea in the end to go and see him.

So here I am, on the 4th of April, going inside with my mom holding my hand... well not literally.

I was nervous.

Mom's plan was after the show, to take me to the diner that was just a few blocks from here, and for me to wait there as she picked up Nick. I was going to talk to Nick face to face on my own.

I'm not going to lie, I'm shit scared.

But nonetheless, we walked into the theatre and showed our tickets to the man. He nodded for us to go and before we were properly inside the stage part, we grabbed our drinks and snacks. I got myself a bottle of water and a bag of chips to munch on. Mom didn't get any food, just a glass of chardonnay.

We were both wearing fancy clothes. I was wearing my favourite pair of 5 inch black heels, with my hair curled still blond, light makeup, wearing a Helmut Lang two-tone crepe dress with a crossover V neck. It was something I thought would be suitable for theatre.

So yeah, there was I sitting comfortably in the middle area of the theatre, on the second floor, patiently waiting for the curtains to open and for the show to begin.

I looked over at mom, she was looking forward, also waiting herself to see Nick again.

I don't know what it is, but it almost felt like she wanted Nick to be her son in law or something.

I really do think that she wants me to get marry to that Jonas boy.

And quite frankly, I don't know what to feel about that. What if I do marry him? What if I had kids with him! Oh my god, these thoughts are freaking out... must stop it.

Looks like the show was starting anyway.

The curtains drew open, and there already stood was Nick.

The lights faded on, the scene being set.

He was glowing, he looked... eye catching.

He just looked so content and so... flawless somehow.

I just wanted to run up on the stage and hug him.

The show was over now.

It was great. Nick really is a fabulous actor.

He's better at singing and playing music, but I did like his performance.

There was singing involved anyway, so I got it both ways.

Mom had gone down the alleyway, where she was going to try and drag Nick out before all his fans got there first.

I was now alone, walking down towards the diner with my raybans on.

It was now 9:30pm, and it wasn't as easy to see in the sunglasses as I would have liked due to it being dark, but I had to wear them so I wasn't so easily recognised.

But being out this late, I don't think anyone would recognise me.

I got to the famous diner that I had visited quite a lot when I came to New York. It was open 24 hours and it was a great place to get breakfast.

It was called Mama's Dineria. Quite a catchy name I suppose.

When I sat down, one of the waitresses already came over, smiling at me. I knew her vaguely, her name was Julie. She looked about 25.

She gave me a seemingly genuine smile, "Hi Demi... nice to see you again. What would you like to order?"

I smiled back, "Hiya Julie. I'll have the usual americano and er... 2 plates of fries please."

"2 plates? Is someone meeting you here?"

I nodded, "Yeah... an old friend."

"That's nice. Your order will be out soon." She smiled again and walked away to bring my order.

There was a couple of other people in here, but they had no idea who I was. Well maybe they did, but weren't fans and didn't care.

But that was okay, because this made this meetup much easier.

That was then at the corner of my eye, I saw mom and... well Nick himself.

He looked confused, like whatever mom was saying didn't make any sense.

But then she must have been telling him that there was a surprise in the diner for him and that she was leaving.

Right on cue I was right, she started to walk away... winking at him.

Nick was still baffled, turning round to open the front doors.

And that's when he stopped in his tracks, noticing me. His whole face lit up.

He then started coming over to my table.

"Demi!"

I stood up, and gave him a wide grin. I walked up to and spread my arms out, he doing the same and we pulled each other into a hug.

"Oh Nick... it's great to see you."

"The pleasure is mine Miss Lovato."

I couldn't help but giggle at that charming line, his husky getting me all giddy.

Goddamnit the effect he had on me!

The hug felt so comforting, I felt so safe.

It was the best feeling in the world.

I could feel his breath on my hair, his arms round me so tight. I could tell from the hug that he needed to keep hold of me to live in the moment... because that's exactly how I felt.

I needed to take it all in, and just remember the feel of his warm body, the way his hugs always made me feel like we were the only 2 people in the whole wide world.

I heard him stifle a happy hum, like he was thinking of something that made him laugh.

I couldn't stop smiling, myself humming a little at this lovely feeling.

The hug was probably far too long for us to be just friends, but I didn't care.

Because I thought of him much more than a friend.

It's just taken me all this time to fucking realise.

We then eventually let go. But I already missed the feeling when we both sat down.

He looked at me and said, "You look well."

I smiled, "Thanks. So do you. You did a great performance tonight by the way."

"Thank you Dem, much appreciate it."

"No problem. So er, you like fries right?"

He chuckled, "Yes... did you order some?"

I nodded, "But I didn't know what you wanted to drink so..."

"No worries Dem, I know I don't stick to the same drink. I'm probably going to have a cinnamon latte."

Julie came over again, her beaming smile once again spread across her face.

"Ah Nick! So you're the old friend of Demi's. She just said you were coming! What would you like?"

"Hi Julie... nice to see ya. Yeah, me and Demi need to do some catching up! I would like a cinnamon latte please."

"Gotcha. Well it's lovely when things like this happen isn't it? Your coffee will be coming right up!"

Nick smiled at her and then looked back at me.

"It's a shame a lovely person like that is working hard in such a small diner isn't it?"

I nodded, "Yeah... she seems too intelligent to be working as a waitress."

"Agreed. Anyway, so tell me about your year..."

"Not much to tell really. It's been great though, a lot of touring has been going on again. I did the Stay Strong documentary a couple of months ago. Things have been a lot better."

"Is that it? Surely something amazing has happened to you?"

"Nah... same old same old. Since treatment things haven't changed, except I'm a lot healthier and happier."

"Really? Are you a lot better than you were?"

"Yeah. I mean I still have my moments of weakness, but I haven't cut in months... nor purged."

I noticed the look of relief on Nick's face when I said that.

"That's... amazing to hear. Keep it up Dem, I know you can fight those demons."

I smiled at him, eager to just give him a kiss on the lips.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Before I start this chapter, I just wanted to have a little moment of Nemi fangirling. I was freaking out when Nick tweeted to Demi, but then the pictures and the videos of them together singing on stage made me die. It scared me as well, considering I updated chapter 8 just before I saw the tweet. It's scary cause it's like I knew something like what I wrote would happen! Okay so in my story it's Demi going to see Nick perform instead, but still! It's crazy how I write about them having a reunion and they actually do! What makes me really happy is that they're still the same as they were, still really close giving each other hugs and grinning like idiots. They are so perfect for each other and they don't even know. The way they looked at one another killed me. Especially when Nick looked at her like she was the only one for him. BEST FUCKING REUNION EVERRR.**

**Anyway sorry for this being so late. I was in Spain! But yeah, here's chapter 9 :)**

Chapter 9

**Nick's POV**

"That's... amazing to hear. Keep it up Dem, I know you can fight those demons."

She smiles when I say that, which must mean I'm doing something right.

God she's so beautiful when she smiles.

Even when she looks miserable she's still beautiful, not that she looks miserable now. She looks so much better than she was.

But whether she smiles, my heart flutters. Whenever I see her glowing, I just want to thank the lord for making a miracle, for her to be healthier and stronger.

Maybe she didn't need me after all.

I mean she obviously looked better, and was doing great.

Unless this was still an act? I needed to know.

Was it okay to ask her or would she just break down crying?

I gently began to put it into words, "So erm Demi... is everything good in your life?"

She shrugged, "I suppose so. It's not perfect, it won't ever be. And I know what you're thinking Nick, but really... I'm better than I was. I'm not fully recovered, I don't think I ever will be. It still is a daily battle."

I nodded. Good she was telling me the truth. She was being open, which was a good sign.

"Got it. I'm glad that things are better, I don't want you hiding anything... I want to help you still. I want to be by your side Dem."

She smiles, "I know Nick. That's why you're one of the bestest friends ever."

I blush. Well at least I think so. I definitely felt my cheeks burning up. I hope she doesn't notice.

"I think I deserve another hug Demetria." I slide over to her side of the table to sit next to her, leaning in for a hug.

"Oddly enough you do Jerry."

I chuckle, "Just like old times."

I wanted to hold on longer this time, being closer to Demi than when I hugged when I got here. I still couldn't believe this was happening. I've missed her hugs so much. Our hugs have always felt amazing because she trusts me. I know that whether she hugs me, I make her feel safe. I can feel it in the way she holds me.

I feel safe with her too. I just feel completely at peace, in some sort of blissful dream. She's literally my dream girl, and I feel so lucky that she's come back into my life.

After what felt like a few seconds, we let go. I hated letting go, but we couldn't hug forever.

She smiled at me so sweetly, her eyes boring into mine for just a moment. She then looked away and looked back down at the table. She almost looked embarrassed.

Did she... did she still feel something for me? Did she have to look away to break the eye contact? God I wish I knew how she felt for sure.

"Demi... tell me what you're thinking, please."

She was still looking down at the table, still hiding something from me... even though she was being a lot more open that she used to be.

"If you really wanna know... I was thinking how about handsome you look. Okay?"

I blushed again. I couldn't help but chuckle and grin like a total fool when she said that.

"Oh... wow. I wasn't expecting that."

Demi looked at me with an awkward, yet sweet smile.

I gave her a warm smile back, "Hey Dem... don't be shy about it. I'm irresistible, I know. It's hard to look this good you know?" I changed my smile into a supposed cheeky and jokey grin.

She tried not to laugh, slapping me playfully on the arm. I made a face at her, pretending that her hit really hurt me. "Ugh Demetria, why did you do that?"

She gritted her teeth, still trying to hide a smile that was clearly almost plastered on her face. "DON'T. CALL. ME. DEMETRIA. OKAY JERRY?"

I laughed, "I love how that annoys you so much." She gave me the evil eyes, "You're so getting it later."

"Later? Does that mean we're going somewhere after this?"

"Yeah but I need another coffee. And we haven't finished these chips."

"Well, I'm looking forward to getting beaten to a pulp by a girl that's 5ft 2." I said sarcastically, still grinning at her and picking up my cup of cinnamon latte.

When taking a sip, it felt refreshing. I loved Starbucks, but sometimes coming to this diner was much better. Probably because there is coffee is actually more appetising. I didn't care if it was cheaper, I never worried about having designer label everything. In fact half my clothes are from Topman, which isn't even designer. So who gives a shit?

I took a couple of chips, noticing they were still quite warm. Crispy too. They were one of the best chips I've ever had actually.

"Shut up Nicholas. You know I can beat you up."

"Yeah actually I'm not going to lie.. you give pretty hard fists punches, even when you're playing around."

"Aww that's the nicest thing you've ever said about my physique!" She too was now being sarcastic. But jeez, she clearly forgot about all the other things I said about her.

"Demi come on... I've said much nicer things. I shouldn't have told you when I went through those doors and saw your face, how amazing you look. You're a stunner Demi, you always have been." I didn't realise until those words came out, how husky my voice sounded.

Demi was looking at me in amazement now, she clearly didn't realise how beautiful she is.

"Goddamnit Nick, why do you always have this effect on me? You make my legs feel like jello."

"I didn't know I had that effect on you..."

"Yeah... you fucking do." Oh my god, the way she said fuck. I'd never heard her swear before like that. I mean I think I've heard her swear, but not as sexy as that.

Could I just kiss her? My god I wanted to. It felt like the perfect moment.

I slowly leaned in and closed my eyes, hoping for the best. Maybe she would kiss me back?

I wished for this to happen again for too long and knowing that she was better... it couldn't hurt, could it?

And to my surprise, it obviously wasn't.

Her lips were pressed on to mine, and man... it felt good already.

I began to deepen this slow, but enchanting kiss. I felt like I was in a dream, a sweet blissful dream. I wanted to keep this going, but maybe she would feel uncomfortable since people could be staring at us. But I didn't want to think about that, I wanted to think about how amazing this kiss is.

I placed my hand gently on her neck and the other on her shoulder, making sure she felt safe and not too pressurised, if that's at all how she feels. I did then slide my hand that was on her shoulder to cup her face.

After a few moments, I felt maybe it wasn't best to you know, properly make out with her. I already felt her almost resisting. I think I need air anyway...

So I gently stopped the kiss and opened my eyes to stare down into her beautiful bronze, yet golden eyes.

She was looking me in awe, almost looking perhaps mesmerised by what just happened. I hope she thought that was just as mindblowing as I did.

"Nick... that was... amazing," she murmured. My eyebrows raised, my head screaming inside with happiness. I want to dance around and act like a maniac right at this moment, but that would be incredibly foolish. I would rather do that when no one was watching.

"Really?"

"Fuck yeah. Please do that again... but maybe not here."

"Since when did you say fuck all the time?"

"Since I came became badass."

She looked at me with a serious face, and then started to smirk. I smirked back at her, and then we burst into laughter. She was the cutest and funniest person ever... being another reason why she was the best woman on my planet, next to my mom.

I loved her laugh so much, it was the best sound I'd ever heard... and yes, even better than some music.

I cuddled her, and she cuddled me back. We only held it a few seconds, thinking that since we'd finished the chips and our drinks, we should just go now.

So we thanked Julie and gave her a tip. We walked out of the diner's door into the fresh air that surrounded us on this beautiful coldish night.

As we walked down the street, we headed in the direction of the hotel. We naturally linked hands, which felt really comforting and nice.

We walked slowly, in a comfortable silence. I was looking down at our hands, still taking all this in... finding it hard to believe that our kiss just happened.

What did this mean for us now? Were we just going to stay as friends or start something between us? And if we are, are we going to tell everyone or keep a secret for a little bit? I mean, if she doesn't want to start anything yet, I completely understand. I don't mind taking things really slow and just being friends with benefits for now... just as long as she tells me that.

I gently ask, "So er... what is this? I mean err.. what are we?"

She bit her lip and looked reluctantly in my eyes and said, "Well.. I don't know. Do you want us to keep this our little secret and just keep being best friends? I mean, I... definitely can't let you go out of my life, yet you're closer than a friend Nick. Should we like... take things real slow? My life is hectic at the moment and I..."

I then stopped us from continuing to walk and placed my finger on her lips, shushing her. "Taking things slow is absolutely perfect. I think that rushing won't help you at all. I just want the best for you. Okay?"

She nods and smiles, "Thanks Nick. You always know what to say. So, we're like... friends with benefits?"

"Yeah, if that's what you want us to be."

She grins, "Awesome."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Demi's POV**

Nick and I got into his hotel room, sitting down on the sofa that was next to the TV.

What just happened felt like a blur.

I feel like I've just woken from a dream, it's so strange.

I can't believe that Nick kissed me. I mean, I was hoping he would... but I didn't expect him to straight away. I'm pretty happy he did though because that means he still feels something like I do. We could be finally together one day!

But right now, I would prefer if we were friends with benefits, and I told him honestly because I wouldn't want to leave him hanging, not knowing what to do. So right now the occasional kiss is fine, but only alone. But thank god we're still as close as we were.

I turned to face him, probably with a smile that made me look like a total idiot.

He smiled back with his humble and gentle smile, his eyes full of safety and perhaps... love?

Oh my god let it be love. My eyes are definitely looking at him like that.

He reached out his hand and started to play with my hair, still staring right at me. He then started caressing my cheek, carefully sliding his thumb over it.

I took my hand and placed it on top of his, letting him secure my cheek and let him feel my face.

It felt so soft and blissful. He was so tender with me, making sure he didn't hurt me in the slightest. I know he cared because he couldn't stop looking at me right in the eyes. I looked right back, making sure I didn't close my eyes otherwise I would have let him touch me in other places that I knew was too close for us to just be friends with benefits.

I don't know if we were ever going to be involved like that, but I knew I wanted it. I wanted to be with him, but I knew that getting better was more important at the moment.

But jeez, the temptation was so difficult.

And wait...

Delta.

Did he still have feelings for her? I mean he had a good relationship with her and I did hear they broke up, but that could have been a rumour?

I had to ask.

I gradually took his hand away from my cheek, and placed my hand in his.

He looked down at our hands, looking slightly confused.

He looked back up at me and said, "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head, "No of course not. I just need to ask you something..."

His smile faded, and he looked at me seriously.

"Do you still have feelings for Delta?"

I noticed a glitch in his eyes. Did that hurt him when I asked him that?

"Why do you ask?"

"Well... I don't want to be in the way if you're still getting over her."

"Demi it's been 2 months..."

"I know, but you were together nearly a year no?"

"Yes but that doesn't matter anymore."

"Honestly? I mean, I don't want to intrude but..."

He shushed me with his finger, placing it on my lips.

"Delta's in the past. I promise you. We mutually decided to no longer be. She told me she still has feelings for her ex-husband. She also noticed I still have feelings for you."

I couldn't help but let my heart skip a beat when he said that. Now I know for sure he must be telling me the truth because once again, he was looking right at me, with the most believable face I've ever seen. I also know when Nick's lying too... and he rarely does that.

"Oh... well, in that case... I guess it's fine for us to start something then."

"Yes... but not now. Not until you're ready. I'll wait until you are, okay?"

He took my hand and placed it right where his heart was.

I felt it beating rapidly.

Was I doing that to him?

It was so loud too, like a wave.

I felt like crying with happiness.

"Am I doing that to you?"

"You always have Demi..."

I grinned so much when he said that.

I let my mind go away with me. I let go of his hand and I leaned in to kiss him on the lips. I snaked my hand around his neck and the other on his head, feeling the urge to massage it. But I just gently held on to his slight curls that he still kept. I love his curls, but I was tempted to tell him that made he should go wild and try something new... like a buzzcut?

He understood what I was doing and he just slowly pushed me closer, his hands around my waist.

I gave him a light kiss, touching our lips, letting go and doing the same routine. Little kisses that made my heart beat uncontrollably. I fought the urge to moan slightly in his mouth. Yes I know, but he was making me feel THAT good.

I then let go for air, and dropped my head on his shoulder, sighing heavily... but not in necessarily a bad way, but definitely in some sort of frustration. Jesus if I kept continuing, my urge to have him now would take over and it would ruin this moment.

I kissed his shoulder and gave him a big bear hug. He hugged me back, and I let my head rest. This felt so perfect, almost too good to be true. I had to make sure that whenever I had the urge to kiss him, it would be controlled. Knowing me I'll have the urge in public!

But we couldn't let them know about this, we just had to slowly let the press know we're in touch again. But how could we do that? Hmm, maybe when I'm next free, I could reveal that I'm at How To Succeed, so I could go see it again and then if he's allowed, Nick could bring me up to the stage just after the musical is finished and they're all bowing.

Sounds like a plan... but How To Succeed is all eyes on Nick, and it shouldn't be on me.

I think just hanging out casually out in the open would be better, and more sly too.

Paparazzi would see us be all like, what the fuck? When did this happen? When in the world did the Jonas & Lovato family make up? But that's it... they'll think I've made up with Kevin & Joe as well... but I'm not ready for that.

I don't know what Paul would think either. It's a real scary thought.

I think Denise is the only one who would welcome me with open arms...

I mean don't get me wrong, Joe would be quite happy to see me... but Kevin? I don't know.

But right now I would rather not see them until I feel ready to see them. I mean the last time I saw Joe was at that photo shoot was a couple of months ago, and I didn't really speak to him much because I didn't really have much to say. He didn't have much to say either, but it was for the best because it would have been even more awkward if I had said anything stupid. But it was nice enough to speak to him.

Maybe in the next couple of weeks we could arrange for me to go round their family home and negotiate how I feel about Nick.

Oh god no, not in front of Joe.

No no, I will go round there just to make peace. I mean I know there isn't any conflict, but I know Kevin's been a bit tense with me and Joe can't talk to me anymore like old times.

I'll just have to stay calm, and maybe Nick will help me. Well no, he'll help me.

I let go of Nick and look him right in the eyes, in all seriousness.

"Something wrong Dem?"

"No, nothing wrong... it's just, what are we going to tell your parents and your brothers?"

Nick bit his lip, looking down trying to think. He sighs, knowing the situation we were going to have to face.

He looks back up at me, "Well we don't have to tell them about this thing between us... but I guess, you could come round to the old house and you could see my brothers, my mom and dad if you want? Or either that, we could hide you completely for a little bit, only your mom knowing about what's going on."

"I think we'd have to face your family soon. Technically we're not together so that's not the worry. I just think your Joe and Kevin are the main problem."

Nick nods, "I know. Whether I've brought you up, everything gets really awkward. I've had to keep my feelings about you being in treatment hidden because Kev and Joe don't really know how to talk about you. I guess since what happened between you and Joe..."

"Yeah... let's not talk about that."

He nods again, "Right. Got it. So... what do we do for now?"

"We remain a secret. But I guess you can tell Joe about me, I mean... he's not tense with me like Kevin. You can just tell him you've seen me and thought a catch up might be cool. But with Kev, we can just leave him for the minute. You can talk about me to him in the next couple of weeks. And then when I feel ready, we can see your parents. But right now Nick, I just... god I can't... you know?"

"Of course Dem, I get it. Don't you worry, we'll sort this out."

I smile. He always makes feel better with his wise words. I'm so glad I have him again, by my side. I've missed him being around it almost killed me. Well, not literally.. but definitely mentally. He's one of the greatest friends I've ever had, and soon... when I feel ready for sure, he'll be the greatest boyfriend I've ever had.

I can't believe it's taken me all this time to realise he really is the one for me.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Nick's POV

Demi had gone home last night, only to think I wish she had stayed the night.

But she didn't have clean clothes and had to leave due to her having a busy day of photoshoots, which sucked because I had the whole day off until tonight.

But she said she could see me in the afternoon, which I guess makes up for it a little.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't doing the play, and she wasn't doing photshoots and interviews, and we weren't famous. I wish we could give it up and just hang out like any other person would do on another beautiful day. I wish we could just hang out at the beach, splashing water at each other and building sandcastles.

But today was a busy day, and I had to make my fans happy. Which I guess is more important, in some ways. Plus, it's not like meeting them is a chore... I just would love to spend more time with Demi.

I can be selfish once in awhile! Does it hurt? Not much.

Anyway, aside the business of both our lives, I'm also kind of dreading the conversation I'm going to be having with mom, dad and my brothers. I mean, maybe Joe will be okay... and mom, and well yeah, Frankie won't mind... but I don't know, I still worry Joe could get annoyed. And Kev, well he'll defend Joe like always. And dad, well he's kind of the reason I haven't spoken to Demi in so long.

I mean, I love my family. But sometimes... they can really piss me off.

Well, the only 2 that don't are Frankie and mom. They're a whole lot more understanding than Joe, Kev and dad.

I don't get why they can't be understanding as well.

What the hell did Demi do except go into treatment in the middle of the tour?

And even then that wasn't her fault. People weren't helping when she was in the terrible state that she was hiding away from everyone.

Okay yeah, maybe people honestly didn't know that Demi was hurting, but some of them were so unbelievably insensitive and should have known when it was time to leave her alone or when they were being rude.  
I know Joe wasn't intentionally trying to hurt Demi when he was with Ashley, but he still should have thought about her feelings. I guess Joe didn't realise how much Demi was in pain.

Thankfully Joe wasn't the problem... well, he was only a tiny bit.

Demi didn't go into treatment because of him, because she is stronger than that. I'm sure if she hadn't had a lot of shit happen to her, she wouldn't have be as sensitive as she became. She wouldn't have broken down, and she wouldn't have gone to treatment.

Maybe me and her would be together? I don't know.

I kinda wish that didn't happen though. I wish she didn't go to treatment, I wish she didn't cut or purge, I wish she didn't get bullied by those nasty people. I wish that she could have been mine way before Joe and for all I know, could still be with me when we started a relationship at 16. Maybe if Demi wasn't going through her troubles, I wouldn't have dated Selena!

But I dated Selena for all the wrong reasons like the idiot I was.

I only dated Selena to make Demi jealous. I only dated Selena to get over Miley. I only dated Selena because I couldn't have Demi. And yes, I was an ass for doing that.

But I've learnt now, I've learnt how dumb I was.

I've learnt that the only thing I could do now is be patient.

Because Demi told me she wants me, but she wants to wait.

I'm fine with that, because knowing she wants me is enough.

Knowing that she is prepared to take the leap soon, means that we'll be together, and that it might not be much longer of a wait. And hell, I've waited 4 years, I can wait a year or so more.

If I'm lucky, I might not even need to wait a year!

But it's Demi decision, and she needs help before she even decides to rush into a relationship that could break into pieces.

I know that Demi won't be easy all the time, but I'm prepared to deal with that. Whatever it takes, I'm staying by her side.

I fucking love her, and no one is changing my mind.

When you love someone, you're prepared to do anything. And that's how I feel.

This may sound cliche, but I would die for her.

If someone threatened to kill her, (which is very unlikely) I would glad stand in the way and let them try and get through me first.

Like I said, it may sound cliche... but it's the truth.

I would do anything for her.

I'm even considering marrying her... you know, if she wanted to marry me.

But sometimes I doubt that, because she can't possibly love me the same way I love her.

This is actually hard to say, but I love her just as much as my brothers... maybe even a little more. I don't know, but I do love her enough that I would do anything for her.

But she's not a really demanding woman, so I know I wouldn't need to do a ton for her.

To be honest, she trusts me so much, I could do almost anything and she'll understand why I need to do it.

Aside her issues, she's pretty much perfect for me.

But for some reason, it feels like I'm the only one who sees how amazing she really is.

I just hope to god her fans see her as she is too.

I'm sure they do, otherwise they would have left her side a long time ago.

But Kevin and Joe didn't see how she is, so they left her. I guess Kevin also did because he had Danielle to distract his mind for a while, and even now she's his everything, and nothing else matters anymore.

Joe? Well, he doesn't really have an excuse. He had Ashley distract him for a little bit, but now there's nothing to stop him from being friends with her like they used to be.

But both of them are being ignorant as hell still.

And you know what?

It's fucking unnecessary.  
They're being kind of childish, and if I don't say something... they won't get it.

It's weird because even though they're older than me, somehow I turned out to be the maturest.

I mean Frankie's more mature than them for christ sake!

But anyway, I guess I can't let my brothers decide what's best for me.

I already had a few discussions about this, but they wouldn't stay calm.

We haven't spoke about Demi for a long time.

It's been a good year since we have discussed her issues and such.

They're being really dismissive, tense and suddenly quiet whenever I bring them up.

But enough's enough... they're going to have to chat about Demi to me wherever they like it or not. Especially the day when me and Demi decide we may be starting a relationship.

And if they're against me and Demi together, I won't care because it's not their say to date who I want to date. I'm just going to inform them and let them fight to the battle about it, but I would steady myself to prepare for whatever grief I'm going to get.

If I'm lucky, they could be mature about this whole situation for once... considering it has been a year and they could have changed how they feel now.

But to be honest I doubt it. I wish they would, but I can't let my hope get mixed with what the reality really is... they can't deal with Demi because of her issues.

They feel guilty for being crappy towards her and can't face up to their mistake.

Why? Because they're being my cowardly brothers.

I wish I didn't have them as brothers sometimes... because they judge me for my actions far too many times. Okay sure, I judge them for their actions sometimes, but they really think that most of the decisions I make are stupid. They've always thought that my mind goes down the drain when it comes to Demi.

But they have the nerve to judge me when they don't exactly make the best choices.

To be honest, I think we should just give advice to one another... or just back up each other's decision even if they don't agree because things would be a lot easier and then we'd all learn from our mistakes because what's the point in avoiding mistakes? We never learn if we do that.  
My brothers overprotect me, and they have to stop doing that.

They protect me more than my own mother does! That's definitely saying something.

I know they might mean well... but they just make matters worse.

They just don't understand... they really don't understand.

Out of nowhere, a knock on my door jumped me out of my thoughts.

I walked up to it, "Who is it?"

"Erm.. it's Dallas."

I frowned. Dallas? What on earth could she be doing here?

Not that I didn't want her here, it just surprises me she knew where I was staying. I guess Demi must have told her in case she needed to speak to me, and I suppose this is one of those strange times.

I opened the door and gave her a smile, "Hi Dallas, it's a surprise to see you here. What's up?"

She gave me a polite, weak smile. "Can I come in?" She asks.

I open the door wider for her to get in, stretching my arm out as a gesture for her to be welcomed in.

She walks in, looking round at my hotel suite.

"A really nice suite you've got it. I'm guessing this is just temporary?"

"It's where I stay when I come to New York. It's reserved especially for me."

She nods, still looking around... seeming quite impressed.

I ask gingerly, "So... what's brought you here?"

"I've come to talk to you about Demi."

"Right. What about her?"

Dallas sits down on my sofa. "Well, I just wanted to ask a few things."

"Go on..."

"Erm... well how do I start? I guess I wanted to know how you feel about her."

"Well, I care about her very much if that's what you wanted to hear."

"Mmhmm... and, do you... love her?"

I sigh, biting my lip. "Yes, very much so."

"Are you sure about that?"

I frown slightly, "Of course Dallas, do you not believe me?"

"No it's not that I don't believe you... it's just... are you willing to cope with her?"

"Are you kidding? I would do anything for your sister!" She has no idea.

"Okay, okay... but one last question."

"Yeah, shoot."

"Do you want to have sex with her?"

….

Did I hear what she just said?


	12. Chapter 12

_"Do you want to have sex with her?"_

_…._

_Did I hear what she just said?__****_

  
Chapter 12****

Nick's POV

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

My mind felt numb...

did she really ask that question?

I don't how to respond to that.

I was quite frozen... that question repeating over & over.

"I said... do you want to have sex with her?"

There she said it again.

She really had meant to ask that question.

But how the hell do I answer that?

If I say no she won't believe me because I'm a 19 year old guy and we love sex and all that blah, blah blah... but if I say yes will she not be happy with that?

I mean I don't even know... I hadn't really thought about it until now.

Sure, it was at the back of my head but I never expected to talk about it to anyone.

It's my business isn't it?

"Look you know what... I shouldn't have asked that."

"No no it's okay... I just don't really know how to answer that."

Her eyebrows raised, obviously my response must have been slightly surprising.

"Really? Huh."

"Sorry... what did you want me to say?"

"Well to be honest I thought you might say no... but as a lie."

I frown a little, "By that you mean you thought I would say no but I was thinking yes?"

She nods, "Yeah. I didn't think you would tell me the truth."

"I'm an honest guy Dallas, you can trust me."

"Can I? Because I find it hard to be honest..."

"I know. But I'm not like Joe... I swear. He has no idea I met up with Demi."

Her eyebrows rose again, "Wow. So you're hiding your relationship from your family?"

"For now yes. Me and Demi are not even sure we're together properly yet."

"Mmm yeah she said that. She also said how happy you make her."

"I plan to make her happy for as long as I can."

"Well that's good. But do think about my question... because you're bound to one day."

"If only Demi wants to."

Dallas chuckles sarcastically, "Ha-ha oh she does... I know she does."

I suddenly felt my face flush.

I must have looked like a tomato now.

Demi wanted to have sex with me?

Holy shit.

I presume my expression was pretty shocked... because well, holy shit.

Holy mother of god that is all good and pure.

My hormones were raging now...

I had to make sure my legs were crossed to hide how I was feeling.

Holy shit.

DEMETRIA DEVONNE LOVATO WANTS TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH ME.

"You can't be serious?"

"I'm deadly serious. She may not say it, but she shows it."

"How?!"

"She blushes bright red whenever I speak of you."

"Really?"

Dallas nods, "Oh yeah. I also asked her if she wants sex with you and she lied, saying no but she was laughing... which I know is when she's fibbing."

I swallow the hard lump that was stuck in my throat.

I undo the top button on my shirt and pull my tie away from my neck.

"Is it hot in here or is just me?"

Dallas laughs, "Be honest Nick... have you done it?"

"That's not your business Dallas..."

"Spill it Jonas."

"No." How dare she try to invade my privacy!

"Nick..."

I still keep my harsh expression, looking at her firmly.

"No Dallas..."

Why was she being nosey? I can't let her tell Demi anything.

She pounces on me.

What the hell was she going to do to me?

"Dallas what are you doing!"

She laughs, "I'm going to untuck your legs."

"Why?" Shit she knows what I'm hiding.

"Oh please, I know."

How does she know about guy stuff?

"Please don't Dallas..."

"I won't if you tell me. But if you don't tell me, I will tell Demi you had a boner thinking about her."

"I wouldn't!"

"I would. Now... are you going to tell me?"

"No."

She shrugs, "Fine."

She tries to untuck my legs, I hold on tight as I can.

But jeez it was getting uncomfortable hiding it as my leg was needing into my privates.

I suck in air and clench my teeth, trying to stop from pulling my legs open.

"Stop it Dallas!"

"Then tell me!"

I let a frustrated growl, "Fine no! I haven't had sex."

"Wow, really?"

"I nearly did... with Delta, but I couldn't because all I could think of was Demi."

"So you do want to have sex with her?"  
"Yes... I guess so. But only when she feels completely ready."

"She's saved herself for you."

I look at Dallas, quite shocked. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. She really loves you Nick... so if you hurt her, you'll be dealing with me."

"Don't worry, if I hurt her I'll be dealing with myself."

She sighs, "You're a good guy Nick. You've outgrown your brothers."

I chuckle, "I know."

She smiles at me and rolls her eyes.

"Oh come here..." She puts her arms out and I put mine out to give her a hug.

It was weird, because even though I know I'm hugging Dallas... it almost feels like a hug from Demi. I guess they have the same way of giving an embrace.

We let go after a few seconds and she sat back down on the couch.

"You know, you're like the annoying older sister I never had."

Dallas chuckles, "And you're like the irritating younger brother I never had. I have Demi though to make up for that."

"I must say... even though I love your sister very much, she can be annoying. But I would say in a cute kind of way."

Dallas looks at me with this really genuine smile.

She was almost as gorgeous as Demi... almost.

"Oh Nick you know... I should just not be the overprotective sis and leave you be."

"Nah it's okay... it's in your nature. With what she's been through, I don't blame you."

"Yeah... I can't let her get hurt again. I know it wasn't your fault though, she told me you were the only one who helped her out before she went to treatment. She actually trusted you more than me, mom or dad for a little bit. I really should say thank you for being there for her. But I guess that was what the hug was for."  
She trusted me more than her own family?

Jesus christ she really was unwell.

How could she trust me more?

I mean yeah okay... we're best friends, but you always trust your family more no matter what.

I guess she didn't want to let them down, so she confided in me instead.

"You're welcome Dallas. I would do anything for her to be fully recovered."

She smiles again, "You're perfect for her aren't you? Maybe I should get the wedding prepared."

I had to laugh at that, "Marriage is not on my mind at all right now."

"I figured that."

"Right now, my mind is on finishing the rest of How To Succeed, and then helping Demi out as much as I can... being by her side every day."

"Okay stop it now... you're just being too sweet."

I chuckle, "Alright alright I'll stop being a kiss ass."

"Aside being a kiss ass... you've done well. I haven't seen Demi so happy when she came back home last night. I guess it did her good to see you again."

"Wow, well... I wasn't expecting her to be."

"Are you kidding? She's real crazy about you. I don't think you realise how much."

"I guess I don't. But she doesn't realise how much I'm crazy about her."

"Well, you need to tell her one day Nick."

"I will, don't worry."

"Okay well... since I'm here, do you wanna go out to Starbucks?"

"I was planning to meet Demi there... but sure."

"Oh well we don't have to go now then... we can always chat a bit more here."  
I nodded. She went quiet for a moment, I guess she didn't have much else to say.

It was nice to be talking to Dallas though. She was a really nice person, just as a good person as Demi. I kinda wish I had a sister to talk to... I guess Dallas can be that. We were close enough before Demi went into treatment and cut off communication for a little while.

It's weird how she's still treating me the same. I would have thought that she would be awkward now, or maybe even a little rude. But no, she was her usual jokey self that I knew her as back in 2010. We still have banter and she still teases me.

I can understand she might not trust me as much because of what happened, but I only left Demi alone because I was worried that she wouldn't be able to get better if I tried to help her. I thought that when she broke down, I thought I had stopped her recovering.

But according to Dallas, that's not the case.

I stopped the comfortable silence, "Dallas?"

"Yes Nick?" She looked back at me, smiling slightly.

"I didn't know that I was helping her."

Her eyebrows knit together a little bit, "What do you mean?"

"I honestly thought that well... before Demi went into treatment..."

I notice Dallas tense up of the mention of treatment. I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable.

"...no you know what, I can tell this is a touching subject, I'll stop talking."

"No no Nick... go on, it's obviously something important."

I clear my throat, "Okay well.. before Demi went into treatment, I honestly thought I was making it worse for her, and that was why she broke down all of a sudden. But from what you've been telling me, that isn't the case?"

She smiles sadly at me, "No Nick it wasn't you. You really were helping her, but her depression was much stronger than you can fix. She's getting better, and to be honest... I think she'll recover slightly more if you're around. I guess she needs a proper friend to stick by her."

"I didn't know I was helping her, I really thought by staying out of contact until she felt comfortable talking to me again was actually the answer."  
"Well... actually, yes and no. At first, we did think it was that, and that Demi keeping away from you and focusing on her recovery was the right answer... and that if she could get on with her life and forget you, she'll get better. But in a way she wasn't.

'There was one stage where last year, when me and Demi were staying at the family home, and for a little while she picked up a habit of talking in her sleep. At first we didn't think anything of it, but the walls aren't that thick, and she was getting louder and louder. Take a guess on what she was shouting out loud?"

I shrug my shoulders, "No idea."

"You Nick. She was shouting your name out."

I was stunned again.

Am I really that important in her life?

Holy crap this is a mess.

"Why me?"

"Because she was missing you! Can't you see you're everything to her?"

"I really can't Dallas... I never expected to be so big in her life."

"Oh come on Nick, you were the ONLY one who helped on the Camp Rock tour. Don't you think it makes sense?"

I shrug my shoulders again, "I guess so. But I didn't do much."

"Well, you did enough. She was missing you so much, but she said nothing. She never mentioned you. Not until December, when she was filming the Stay Strong documentary. When she was having a break she naturally blurted out, 'I wonder how Nick is celebrating Christmas'. I looked at her like she'd gone mad, and then she realised how much she's missed you and start crying and crying.

'But she thought that by breaking down, thinking of you wasn't helping. But no, it meant that she needed to see you again to be happy. So that's where we are now, and she's the happiest I have seen her in years. Because not only are you back in her life, but she's gone through treatment too."

I didn't know what to say.

All of this was so much to take in.

To think that I've made her extremely happy, makes me extremely happy.

Right at this point I wanted to jump off the walls... but Dallas was right here and thought that wouldn't be a good idea.

But fuck me, I helped her.

I HELPED HER.

Today is the best day ever already.

I just smile and say, "Thanks for telling me all this Dallas. Let's go to Starbucks now."

Dallas nods, and I grab my black jacket from the coathanger and open the door of my hotel room to head downstairs into New York.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Demi's POV

3pm now, and I am on my way in a cab, hiding myself from being noticed as much as I can.

I'm heading into New York of course, to meet up with Nick.

I am sooo happy that we're together again, just like we were before.

I'm really glad nothing has changed, and he's the same old Nicholas Jonas. It makes me feel safe, and made me realise how much I missed him. It's a relief to feel that it's not awkward between us, like I thought it was going to be.

Instead, it's the complete opposite... and well, I'm falling in love with him.

And I am so freaking scared of falling. Catch Me is literally the song of my life now. All this time, I didn't realise that I wrote that about Nick. I've been so stupid to not realise that I've been crazy about him for a long time, and that I dated Joe because Nick was dating Selena.

But looking back at it now, what if Nick was dating Selena because I was dating Cody? I mean, I wasn't properly... but when I was with Cody for a little bit, Nick suddenly started dating Selena not long after he broke up with Miley. Then he was with Selena for a while, and then I started I dating Joe. But after a while, Nick didn't want to be with Selena anymore... and he came running to me after my breakup with Joe.

I did really like Joe more than a friend, but looking at it now I never loved him the way I love Nick. What me and Nick have is special, so special that no one could ever get in the way of it. The only thing that nearly managed to was my bipolar disorder, and even though I'm not rid of it, it's certainly not stopping us from taking things slow now.

I can't imagine being away from Nick, it doesn't feel right nor does it make me feel that I'd make progress with getting better. It makes me feel low, and lonely.

Not to say that I hadn't been making progress, but I don't think I would have made anymore progress if Nick wasn't around.

Nick has been the missing piece of my puzzle, and I had no idea.

I had to figure it all out myself, and it wasn't easy.

It was so difficult for a while, thinking that being away from him would make things better. But that's one thing the doctors and nurses didn't know about my issues, they didn't know how close I was with Nick, and how losing him would be worse than not losing him.

I would rather he was there, because he's helped me. Joe, Kevin and Nick's dad are the ones that I will struggle to be able to be around. They didn't help me, unlike Nick who went against them for me. I didn't tell him to do that though, he chose to do that.

And even though I think it was mad at the time, at the same time he was the only who understood how ill I really was. I told Nick everything, more than I told anything to Joe.

In fact looking back at it, I kept loads of things from Joe.

Only did he realise how sick I was when I turned myself into the treatment center. But even that doesn't explain everything. He doesn't know the depth of my eating disorder, bullying and cutting. Sure, he might have seen about it on the news maybe, but he doesn't know like Nick does. But to be honest, Nick doesn't know every little bit of depth, no one does. Well, the only people that do are the ones who have gone through a similar thing. Nick hasn't, but he knows what I've been through, even though he doesn't know how it feels.

But in a way that's okay, because he can make me forget the past sometimes, he can make me live in the moment for a little while, and make me the happiest girl alive.

And that's better than anything in the whole world, maybe even universe.

He being there is what I need, because I can't push everyone away, otherwise I'll be stuck on my own with no one to help me get back up.

The only bad thing about having Nick around is the risk of being hurt, but I can't be negative about it. I've got to look at my glass half full, not half empty. Nick hasn't hurt me properly before, when I left to go to treatment, I hurt him and myself.

But I'm not ever doing that again. I'm going to make sure he never gets hurt.

If I hurt him again, I'll never forgive myself. And even though hurting myself is bad and I will struggle again, it won't feel anything if I've already Nick. Hurting Nick is like a knife scraping my heart. The blood would pour, just like my tears. I couldn't deal with that.

I guess this whole idea has gone through my head because of my depression. I need to stop thinking like that and just think about how amazing it's going to feel when I see Nick again, even though I saw him last night. But that felt like a dream, my heart fluttering like crazy when he kissed me. My god he didn't know what he did to me when he did that. That kiss nearly gave me a heart attack, not even joking.

I know that perhaps him being closer than a friend might not be the best thing for me right now, but it definitely makes me feel good. I can't keep myself away from him when he's around, seeing him again made me realise how much I missed his hugs, his smell, and his touch. He looked after me not just as a best friend, but almost like... a lover.

I might be crossing out the idea of having a relationship right now, but technically me and Nick aren't dating. And when I say a relationship, I mean with anyone else. Nick's the reason I'm not going to date anyone because I simply can't when he's the guy that makes me weak at the knees. Especially when he's shirtless. My god, I didn't know anyone could be so attractive.

I'm not going to lie, whenever I see him like that... I want to do things! Things that I would be ashamed of. But he could NEVER know that. Well, I can't keep these feelings hidden forever, but for now... I can't let him know that. That is far too awkward.

Anyway, so I'm nearly at Starbucks. I could see the one I'm heading to now, metres away. I felt the butterflies in my stomach of seeing him again.

The cab stops and the man says to me the ride is free of charge. But I smile at him and shake my head, giving him 40 dollars. I say goodbye politely, happy to make his day.

As I step out, I make sure my sunglasses are planted on my face, so that I'm not as noticeable. I step through the doors of Starbucks to find Nick at the back of the cafe... with my sister.

Oh great.

What is she doing here?

But I get distracted from that when I find Nick beaming at me, his arms out offering me a hug. I can't help but smile at him, rushing into him. As usual, the hug feels so special. I take in his essence of what could only be described as cinnamon and fabric softener from his clothes. God he smelled so good, especially when he had the extra spice of cologne, which must be the cinnamon added on with a bit of jasmine wood maybe? Who cares, I couldn't stop taking it in.

Sometimes, Nick really feels like an addictive drug.

I think he knows I'm keeping hold of him, so he's not stopping the hug.

It's like we're in tune with each other all the time.

Sometimes I wonder if he can actually read what I'm thinking.

Oh god I hope not!

I then start to let go as he does.  
I would have kept hugging him if my sister wasn't here.

I still am puzzled why she is.

I didn't want to talk to her right now... she was bugging me earlier.

I mean she's the reason sometimes I'm glad I can get out of the house.

As Nick goes to sit back down on his chair, I turn to my sister.

"What are you doing here?" I place my hands on my hips.

"I needed to talk to Nick... is that a crime?" She smirks at me.

"Dallas, go home."

"Why should I? Oh right yeah... you want some time alone with your boooyfriend."

She winks at me and giggles, walking out of Starbucks.

Ugh, damn her.

I was probably blushing like crazy.

Perhaps the makeup I'm wearing will hide my tomato of a face.

Nick looks at me seriously for a second, and then he starts sniggering, laughing his cute laugh.

I bite my lip and giggle a little.

Aw man... thank god he started laughing.

Otherwise that would have been super awkward.

"Sit down Dem." He still chuckles.

I still chuckle a little and sit down opposite Nick, where Dallas was sitting.

"Sisters eh? I guess she's like my brothers to you, right?"

I nod, "Yeah... she annoyed me earlier, so I wasn't so pleased she was here. What was she talking to you about anyway?"

Nick shrugs, "Not a lot really... she just wanted to know a few things. She came over to the hotel."

She did? What the hell for? What could she possibly want with Nick?

I frown, "Really? What did she want to know?"

"Err well... she just wanted to tell me how happy I'm making you and that I make sure it stays that way I guess."

I look at Nick suspiciously. He does seem like he's telling me the truth, but is he hiding something?

"Is that all she wanted?"

He nods, "Yeah. Nothing serious Dem, don't worry."

"Hmmm... okay."

I swear he's hiding more. Maybe I'm just imagining it? Nick wouldn't hide anything would he?

"Dem... seriously, it's fine. She just asked me a few questions about whether or not I really cared about you and err well... just other stuff."

I frown even more, "What stuff Nick?"

"Well... it's a bit embarrassing Dem." He nervously chuckles.

"Nick... what did she ask you?"

"It's nothing Demi... really."

"Nick if you don't tell me you will feel pain."

He looks at me and smirks, "Go ahead."

I smirk back at him, "Fine."

I get up from my seat and I jump on to him, even though there is people that were likely to be looking at us now.

"Aghh, Demi! Get off!" He starts laughing, but in a hasty breath as I'm on his stomach, since by jumping on him so hard he's now laying on the seat sideways.

"Tell me what she said Nick!"

He still laughs breathlessly, "I'll tell you if you get off me."

"Nope, I'm not falling for that. I'll just continue sitting on you."

I straighten myself up, sitting on Nick's legs.

"Demi I can't tell you because we're in a private place and people could hear us."

Damn. He does have a point. It's possible people in here know who we are as well.

I then hear people whispering around us, a teenage girl in the corner whispering to her friend. They probably know it's me. I think this might be the best time to leave.

"Okay okay I'll get off of you and we'll leave, okay?"

He nods and grins at me. I get off him, rolling my eyes. I straighten my jacket and hair, then proceed to walk out. Nick follows me, leaving a ten dollar on the table for his coffee, and what probably was a cake of some sort that he finished before I got here.

We both left Starbucks and decided to go back to Nick's hotel, where we could spend some time together and then I'd probably leave in a couple of hours.

*

Nick is now looking at me intensively.

I didn't know whether to feel overwhelmed by the way he's staring at me or feel relaxed that he's right in front of me, listening to everything I say and making me feel like the happiest girl in the world right at this very moment.

We are sitting in his hotel now, which I love doing, as it gives us time to relax and to be able to get our feelings out about anything without being noticed by anybody. Starbucks was fine, but I could feel the eyes on us.

We needed to sort out what we were going to do about the whole situation with telling everyone gradually about our reunion, and possibly when it comes to the time, that we are dating.

But to tell anyone that right now would be too much, and I know that Nick would more likely get it in the neck that me. Although I'm not sure how dad is going to feel about this. Eddie De La Garza is been protective of me always.  
He doesn't mean to be of course; but you can hardly blame him considering the tough time I've had. But I reckon he already knows about us. He knows roughly how much Nick means to me. He was there when I was screaming in my sleep, shouting out Nick in the middle of night. I know, it sounds so unbelievably embarrassing when I mention it again, but it happened and it's always going to stick in my mind.

I knew from then on that obviously I can't live without Nick ever since he came into my life. He put up with my problems when no one else would. I just hope to god Dallas didn't tell him anything. And if she did, hopefully the least embarrassing parts.

I mean yeah, Nick does know in some ways how I feel about him... but I haven't told him enough how much he means to me and how crazy I am about him, and how I'm falling for him.

He'll know one day; I'm just far too scared for him to know.

I know that if I told him, he would be sincere, but what if he doesn't feel the same?

But he's kissed me... surely he feels something.

Urghhh this is what you do to me Nick! You confuse the hell out of me.

Yes you don't do intentionally, but you're still doing it somehow.

Unless I'm the one who is confusing?

Nick then breaks the silence and pulls me out of my thoughts, "Demi... are you okay with seeing me again?"

I frown, "What do you mean?"

"Well... I wasn't sure if you seeing my face again would make you relax."

"Oh Nick... you worry too much. Sure, I was nervous of seeing you again. I wasn't sure if you were going to be the same old Nick, but you haven't changed. Except you look different, you look older and more mature... and well, I would be lying if I told you weren't looking insanely good, because you really are. You were cute 2 years ago, now you're sexy as hell Jonas."

I wink at him, realising that those words came out of my mouth.

He was looking at me with astonishment, his eyes bulging out.

"...s-sexy?"

I grin, "Yeahhh... very."

Is this me talking?

Since when I was able to be all... flirty?

Haha oh right yeah always.

Just not as powerful as now.

He clears his throat, and looks right at me and says, "Maybe I look sexy Dem... but what about you? You're the sexiest woman alive."

….


	14. Chapter 14

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

_He clears his throat, and looks right at me and says, "Maybe I look sexy Dem... but what about you? You're the sexiest woman alive."_

_….__**  
**_  
_Chapter 14__**  
**_**  
Demi's POV**_****_

"Ha... I don't think so Nick."

He smiles warmly, "You are to me..."

He leans into kiss me, but I put my finger on his lips.

I look down, realising what was just happening.

Was this going too fast?

"Nick..."

He nods and leans away.

"Sorry Dem... I understand. This is too much for you."

"No, it's just... I'm confused."

He takes my hand into his and leans on it his chest.

"What about?"

I look back up at him, "How you feel."

"Well you know... don't you?"

"I don't know... you tell me?"

"You're the bestest friend I could ever have Dem."

"So there isn't more to that?"

"Well... it depends how you feel."

I sigh. Was he hiding how he felt? Did he want me to tell him I love him?

"Nick just tell me the truth, and I will tell you the truth."

He stays still for a second and then answers, "The whole truth?"

I nod, "Yeah... please."

He sighs, not saying a word for a few moments.

….

He doesn't blink nor look away when he says the words simply...

"I love you."

And at that moment my heart froze... but then suddenly began beating insanely fast.

I felt like I couldn't breath, I felt ecstatic but I couldn't function to react.

He loves me.

He truly loves me.

I felt myself start to cry...

a tear rolls down my cheek.

Oh god I can't hold it in.

More tears keep rolling...

he's look at me with concern all of a sudden.

He rubs my tears with his thumb, "Don't cry Demi... please don't be sad."

I just whisper back, "I'm not sad Nick. I don't mean to cry..."

"Then don't Demi... there's no need to."

"There is Nick..."

"But why Demi?"

I smile at him, "because you saying that you love me has really shook me. Shook me like nothing else."

I take my other hand and caress his left cheek, looking at him hopefully what should look like adoration. I then as gently as I can, place a peck on his lips.

I then bury my head in his shoulder and say to him, "I love you so much it hurts."

I then feel Nick eruptably lift my head back up, he looking stunned at me.

His eyes light up, his cheeks turn a slight pink and his lips curve slightly into a smile.

"You love me?"

I nod, "Yeah... I do, and I want us to be together."

Nick's eyes sparkle when I say that.

He grips hold of my hand, squeezing it ever so affectionately.

He then leaves a kiss on my hand, and then looks back at me.

He gives me that really lovely smile, the one that I've noticed he only gives to me. I notice he then bites his lip, blinking. Everything feels like it's moving slowly now, the time with Nick being unrelated to the actual time itself.

Me and Nick were really in our own world.

"I want you to be sure on that decision. I don't want to hurt you."

"I hardly doubt you will Nick... I've hurt you more than you've hurt me."

"My feelings don't matter."

How could he say that? They're the only thing that matters.

"Don't say that. That's bull."

He chuckles, "Fine alright, we'll have it your way."

I give him a sarcastic, sneery look. But I can't help but giggle.

He then chuckles a little more, his megawatt smile smeared across his face.

"I swear these smiles you give me I only see when you're with me."

He rolls his eyes, "Well yeah... you make me smile."

"Yeah... but I never see it when you're with others."

"Well that's because everything you say makes me smile."

I can't help but smile at that, "God you're the best person ever... stop being so amazing."

"Only when you do."

I roll my eyes and snort, burying my head back onto his shoulder.

"You've made my day Demi. In fact, You've made my year actually. You have no idea how many times I've re-enacted how this moment would happen when I told you how I feel. I still can't actually get it fixed in my head that you feel the same. You Demi, you love me. And I hope it's the same way I love you..."

"Hm, well if it's the head over heels, crazy, free falling kind of love... then yes I feel the same way."

I then hear Nick hum slightly.

I take my head away from his shoulder once more, and I stare at his lips so that he gets the message.

He slowly but surely moves his head closer, I feel his breath on my lips. Everything really did go slow then, his eyes fluttering closed, his lips lingering over mine. I then feel a tingle of my mouth, his lips now planted perfectly on mine.

I began to kiss him back, my lips massaging against his.

This kiss was different from the other ones, this had far more desperation in it.

I understood now how much he wanted to do this...

and I had no idea for so long.

But god he didn't know how much I wanted to do the same.

So I deepen the kiss, opening my mouth and lingering my tongue on his semi-closed lips, which then opened as soon as he felt my tongue. I slowly entered my tongue into his mouth, where I found his tongue. I felt his tongue touch mine, which god... felt like heaven.

I felt my stomach flip, my mind dizzy. My eyes closed tight, a shiver crawling up my body. I felt Nick's hands moving around my back. He then brings his left hand up to caress my neck and his right hand stays on my back. I hear him hum again as he kisses me.

I couldn't hold it in any longer...

I finally let out the moan that was laying on the back of my throat. It felt like it been held back for years.

His tongue was now wrestling with mine, this kiss getting more intense.

By my actions, Nick knows what to do right after what I do.

I will tilt my head slightly to the left, and he'd tilt his slightly to the right.

We are in sync, and it felt so right to be doing this.

If I didn't need oxygen, I would gladly continue kissing him forever.

But eventually I had to gently let go before he made my heart beat even faster than it was.

I can't even imagine what I would be like if he did more to me...

if you catch my drift!

That is one thing I wonder though, would he ever...? Would he ever suggest sex?

I'm too scared to mention it in case he thinks I've gone crazy.

I mean yeah I know he's a guy and he probably would love to have sex and blah blah blah...

but Nick's protective of me, and I don't think he'd want to do anything if he feels it will harm me. I bet he'd think that I was being unsure of myself and would worry on why I would even suggested it. I think probably because he knows that I haven't had sex.

I mean, I almost did with Joe... but I was not ready at all.

And of course, I wanted to save myself for Nick.

But at the time I didn't know that.

But now I do, and I'm still a virgin.

I'm glad I am, because I know I would have regretted giving my virginity to Joe, seeing as I didn't love him like I thought I did.

I did love him once... but looking at now it was more brother like than boyfriend love.

Nick makes me blush, he makes my heart flutter every time I see him, his smell suffocates me, he's addictive (in a good way of course), and he makes me the happiest girl in the world.

I finally understand the term, 'your love is my drug'. Nick Jonas is my drug, and I can't live without him. I guess that's much better than having an actual drug that would scar my life forever. Whilst Nick, has a place in my heart instead.

I feel myself staring longingly into his eyes, as he stares back into mine. I feel like I'm in a dream, none of this feels real. It all feels to be good to be true.

I say to Nick, "Pinch me."

He laughs, "Pardon?"

"Pinch me. I need to know I'm not dreaming."

He chuckles some more, "Ah well I can gurantee you are not."

"How do you know that?"

"Because we've kissed before... so I know nothing is different."

"Yes but... kissing you is far too perfect for real life."

"Pffft stop it Demi..."

I smile, "I mean it Nick!"

"Okay well then I give you permission to kiss me again." He winks at me with a huge grin on his face. I grin back, "I will gladly take that permission."  
I place my left hand back on his neck and the other on his cheek. I lean in to kiss him softly, and I feel him kiss me back. This was more gentle, but holy mother it still had the same fiery passion like the other ones.

I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if I just intensify things a little more. So I slowly press my body against him, and as I can feel, I fall forward carefully. He falls back and I now feel that we're laying on the couch, my whole body weight on top of him.

I stop the kiss for a second, my hands still wrapped round him, "Oh Nick... I'm not too heavy on you am I?"

He sits up slightly to look at me with a sarcastic look, one eyebrow pushed down and the other pushed up. "Demi... shut up."

I giggle, "Okay."

Stupid Nick. Why does he have to be so... ugghh and amazing.

Nick then lowers his head again onto the couch, obviously signalling that he wants me to kiss him again.

I roll my eyes, and lean my head back down to face his. His eyes are closed, waiting for me to proceed back to where we were.

I lean in once more, my lips fully open. I already feel his tongue connect with mine just like before, the feeling almost catching me off guard. You can tell it shocked me when I let another moan escape from me. Thankfully it was small, not loud.

But as soon as I moaned, I can feel Nick lift himself up, our lips still attached. What was he doing? But then I understand, he's trying to push me down. Of course he's telling me softly with his body language, so when he unlocks his legs by what I felt he was facing them down, I try to bring my legs round, so they're in front of me.

We somehow manage after a lot of shuffling and trying to keep the kissing going. He then lets go of the kiss and I open my eyes to find he's smiling at me.

He asks me huskily, "Can I err... kiss your neck?"

I try not to laugh, "Yes Nick, you don't have to ask."

I see him roll his eyes slightly. He then places his lips on my neck, the feeling making me shiver.

I start to feel his lips peck at my neck, and then he starts sucking on the most fragile part.  
I let out a soft moan once more, almost like a sigh... a very long sigh.

I start to close my eyes, but then I don't feel Nick kissing my neck anymore.

I open my eyes and frown slightly.

He then looks up at me again, his eyes full of concern.

"Demi... do you think this is a good idea?"

I then lift my head up to rest on the arm of the sofa.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... is it a good idea that we're kinda together now? I recall yesterday you were telling me you wanted to be friends with benefits, and now you want to be a couple?"

"Well yeah, but that was before I knew you were in love with me."

"Yeah but... do you only want us to be together so you don't hurt my feelings?"

I then frown, "What?"

"Demi, are you sure you're not confused? Do you honestly love me the way I love you?"

I can't believe he was asking me this. I look at him, completely astonished. I gently push him off of me so that I could get up and stand. I take a breath, and I look back at him.

"Nick. I told you. I'm crazy about you, you are all I ever think about. You are like... number 2 after my BABY sister! If I didn't have her, you'd be number 1 on the list of people I care about. You make me so happy, you make my heart flutter whenever you smile or I even see you! I mean... there are some things that I've been too embarrassed to say! I suppose Dallas told you things huh?"

Nick looked at me stunned, "Err yeah..."

"Oh goddamnit she can't keep anything! Did she tell you how I was saying your name in the middle of the night?"

He nods.

I think for a second, "Did she tell you about my fantasies?"

He then lifts his arms up to scratch the back of his head, "Well... she didn't say anything about fantasies, but she had mentioned you might want to err... you know."

I sigh heavily, and I place my face into my hands. After a moment, I take my head away from them.

"Okay... I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I've had fantasies of you."

Nick's eyebrows already lift up, clearly showing that I've surprised him.

I continue, "I've had many dreams, or daydreams of you... doing stuff to me. Errr... I've even had ideas of you and me experimenting and all sorts. I used to get flustered whether you were shirtless, because I wanted to touch your skin so badly. I want to feel your chest, I want to feel every part of you. There is not a day where I don't think what it would be like to... you know, make love to you.

"I'm sorry if there was confusion, but when I said that we should be friends with benefits, I honestly thought that was all you wanted. I figured that only kissing would be involved, and somehow we could still be friends. But then when you told me you loved me, I thought... eh, why not we take things a bit faster maybe? But you don't want to hurt me, and I don't want to hurt you. The problem is, I don't want us to just be friends. I want us to be so much more, but I am scared. I'm so frightened that I'll mess up and you won't ever want to be with me."

I finish by taking a sigh, looking down at my shoes now, too scared to even see how he was looking at me. I start fumbling with my shirt.

I then see from the corner of my eye, that he gets up from the sofa, and he then takes my hands away from my shirt, and takes his finger and places it under my chin, lifting it up to face him.

He's looking at me with such a gentle smile, his eyes sparkling.

He then intertwines his hands into mine and says to me, "Demi... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel this way. It makes me so happy to see you be so honest with me. To see you tell me the truth is the best feeling ever because it means you are getting better. It's my time to be honest with you now, because I've been hiding feelings from you too.

'Demi I've been head over heels for you since I was with Selena. I dated her because you were dating Cody, and I was trying to make you jealous. And then when you broke up with Cody, I thought that maybe I could break up with Selena, and perhaps we could be together. But I was too scared to say anything, and then once I finally found the courage to say something, you started dating Joe. I went back to Selena and then after that I couldn't pretend because I finally realised I was in love with you. But of course, once you had broke up with Joe, how could we possibly be together when you had just ended it with my brother.  
'All I've ever wanted Demi was for you to get better, to be healthy and to enjoy your life again. It broke my heart when you went to treatment because a part of me thought it was kinda my fault, and I had no one to tell me otherwise because none of us knew what was wrong. Well I did, but not to the full extent. I felt like I hadn't done enough for you, even though Dallas told me I did all I could. I realise now that you were a lot worse than getting over an end of relationship, you broke down because of your issues. I knew that I couldn't do much, but Dallas reckons you could have been a lot worse if I wasn't there."

"Nick I..."

"Demi don't say anything yet, I need you to fully understand everything. This past year of a half, has kinda been hell for me. Sure, I was getting on with my life enough, but there was not a single day where I didn't think of how you were doing. When I saw all these interviews, and saw your Stay Strong documentary, I figured that maybe you didn't need me. But then you called, and I literally was bouncing off the walls. You have no idea how ecstatic I was to finally see you again. The fact that you're here now is still unbelievable. I mean come on, you look... so fucking beautiful, and you look so much healthier, stronger and more radiant than ever. Jesus, I mean... whenever I saw YOU in like, a bikini... it drove me insane. I didn't realise until today, but I really do want to know what it would be like to be with you, I mean properly BE with you. THIS is going to be embarrassing to say, but there has been many times where I've been sexually frustrated because of you.

'Demi... you think I haven't thought what it would be like to make love to you? Looking back, I know I have, but I didn't want to admit it. I was even denying it today, even though talking about you well..."

He lifts his shirt, and I see it.

Yep, I see that his jeans were far too tight.

….

OH. MY. GOD.

I literally cannot say anything.

This is a lot to take in.

But I finally have reached out to him.


	15. Chapter 15

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

_'Demi... you think I haven't thought what it would be like to make love to you? Looking back, I know I have, but I didn't want to admit it. I was even denying it today, even though talking about you well..."_

_He lifts his shirt, and I see it._

_Yep, I see that his jeans were far too tight._

_…._

_OH. MY. GOD._

_I literally cannot say anything._

_This is a lot to take in._

_But I finally have reached out to him.__****_

_Chapter 15_  
**  
Nick's POV**_****_

I put my shirt back to where it was, untucked.

God I felt so embarrassed now... but she told me she had sexual feelings, so what could I say? That I didn't? No, because I would be lying.

She's not saying anything.

Oh god I hope I haven't freaked her out.

I'm looking at the floor myself now... not being able to say anymore.

She then speaks, "Wow...

'I had no idea Nick, I really didn't.

'If I had known, I wouldn't have dated Cody... nor Joe. But I didn't know how I felt then. I didn't know how you felt about me. In fact, looking at it now I was probably dating Cody because you were with Miley. But I knew you loved her... until you broke up with her."  
"So... we've been feeling these feelings for all this time huh? Jesus. I mean yeah, I did love Miley... but I think you were the reason I broke up with her."

I look up at her, and she's looking at me in complete surprise.

"Nick what the hell are we doing still talking? Kiss me now Nick for the love of god..."

I do what she says instantly, no holding back.

I cup her face into my hands and press my lips onto hers.

I feel Demi's arms snake around my neck, and she jumps on to me.

It startles me, but she holds onto me tightly with her neck and her feet, which are now round my back. I lift her up a bit, so she can balance onto my hips.

Her mouth tastes like mint still, which means just must have sprayed something in her mouth or ate a mint. I can't help but smile into the kiss, thinking that she probably did that so she didn't have bad breath. But to be honest, she's never had bad breath.

I feel her tongue against mine, which feels so magical. Whenever I kissed her I truly felt sparks running through my head. She made me dizzy with the smell of her beautiful perfume, and the fact that she put lipstick on, which probably is all over my lips.

She made me feel so infatuated, so at peace. But at the same time, I could not resist her. The feeling of her lips on mine was just far too good to handle.

But what really got me going was when she moans into the kiss.

Holy mother I've never heard such a wonderful sound.

It was almost as good as music... and that's saying something.

I guess I couldn't help feeling cocky that I was making her feel like that.

She was making me feel good too though. In fact, I've been holding in a couple of groans myself.

But then she lets go of the kiss and starts nibbling at my neck, and now that's what gets me.

I let out a slight grunt, whispering out loud, "ohhh holy jesus..."

She stops nibbling to whisper back, "don't you mean ohhh Demi?"

I look at her and smirk, "just get back to what you're doing... okay Lovato?"

She rolls her eyes, and as she goes back to nibbling my neck, I carry her to the other room. Yes, the other room is my bedroom.

But were we going to...?

Oh crap.

I sit down on the bed, and Demi still holds on to me.

I think the other reason I was groaning though was the fact that she was fully against me, since she was sitting on me.

As soon as we were on the bed, she pushed me down gently with her hands and kept on kissing around my neck area. Then, all of sudden she bites into my sensitive area... and I gasp loudly.

She then licks and kisses the same place softly, lifting back up to look at me.

"Goddamn it Demi... why do you have to make me feel so good?" I sounded out of breath. This is what I mean, this is how she makes me feel and it makes me feel so light headed.

She giggles, "Because I want you to feel good."

"Yeah but... if you keep making me feel like this I won't last much longer."

She gasps and slaps me gently on the arm, "Nick!"

My eyes then widen, "Oh gosh Demi not like that! I mean... I'll die."

She rolls her eyes, "Whatever Jonas. Just get on with ditching your shirt, okay?"

What did she say? Oh sweet lord I'm going to die for sure now.

"Excuse me?"

She smirks, "Ditch the shirt... please."

"Dem..."

"DITCH. SHIRT. NOW."

"But Demi..."  
"If you don't ditch your shirt, I will do it for you."

Oh shit, I'm in for it now. I guess I have no choice.

I start undoing the buttons of my grey shirt, which I really wanted to keep on, but of course I'm not allowed.

I then take it off from my arms, finding myself to be showing my bare chest. I don't get why I'm feeling so embarrassed, but I am. I think I'm still a 16 year old when it comes to sex.

Or either that, it's because Demi told me she gets flustered, and she meant SEXUALLY flustered, when she sees me shirtless. Which the thought of makes me blush like a cherry tomato.

I look at her, giving her a sneery look.

She laughs and pushes me back down on the bed.

I sigh, "... I have no control anymore do I."

"Nope." She gives me a big D smile.

She starts kissing me again, but this time further from my neck or lips. This time she's kissing me on my chest, specifically around my nipples.

I close my eyes and sigh, her lips doing the magic once more.

I say as a whisper, "Are you sure you've never had experience before?"

"Well I've had some experience, of course."

"Oh... right yeah."

She then stops and looks at me, "Ah shit, that doesn't make you feel weird doesn't it?"

"No... well, maybe a little."

"Nick seriously, you're not similar to brother like that. In fact, there's not much similarity so far with you two. Plus, I didn't have sex with him."

That relieved me a little.

"Okay well... do you want to continue?"  
"Depends... do you?"

"Demi, stop playing hard to get. Either we continue, or not. Plus, it's not long till you have to go is it?"

Demi looks at her watch, "Erm... well actually I'm not busy for the rest of the day. I thought that I was going to be doing a photoshoot later on, but they cancelled because one of the photographers got really ill."

"And you didn't tell me this before? This means you can hang with me for another 4 hours or so! Let's head to the beach."

"Nick... we can't."

"We could Dem, we'd just have to keep our hands off each other." I wink at her.

"Exactly, that's why we can't go." She winks back at me, giving me her sexy smirk.

"That's it Lovato, take YOUR t-shirt off."

"Gladly."

"Ha-ha no Dem, I was..."

But before I could finish my sentence, she had taken off her Guns N' Roses t-shirt, revealing her to be wearing a black lace bra.

Yep, she's going to be the death of me.

"Whoa."

She smiles, "Do I look gooood?"

I nod, "Yeah... you really do."

I bite my lip and I grab her by the sides of her tummy and push her down on the bed, so that I'm now on top of her. I then link my lips onto her neck again, but this time I go straight to sucking it, right next to her collarbone.

Once again I hear her moan, but this time she says, "Ohhhh Nick..."

I smirk a little, the noise of her moaning making me want to squeal with happiness.

I then decide that if she's okay to bite me, it should be okay to bite her.

So I do, but I make sure I don't sink my teeth in too far.

She gasps, her whole body jolting. I see her suck in, and she starts to breath heavily.

"Holy shit Nick... I didn't even know you could do that."

I shrug, "I guess it's not too difficult."

"But Nick, no one has ever made me feel this good just by giving me a love bite."

I raise my eyebrows, "Seriously?"

"Yep. You have that charm Nick, that REALLY amazing charm."

I wink at her, "Thank you Lovato."

She giggles, "He-he no... thank you Jonas."

I then smile at her, but not a smirk. I smile at her the way I smile whenever I get lost in her eyes.

"Demi... we don't have to do this today, we can wait. I don't want to rush you. I want us to take our time. I don't want to hurt you at all."

She smiles back, her eyes twinkling at me.

"I know Nick, I know."

"In fact Dem, I would like for us to plan it out. We should go on a proper date, and I should make this room look special."

Demi then lifts herself up so that we can both just sit on the bed and talk about it.

"Ooo okay I like the sound of that. When should we do this?"

I think for a moment. I could do any Sunday... considering that's the nights that the show is not on. It's on every night except for Sunday, and if Demi can, we could have a lie in on the Monday as I have the mornings off on that day.

"Hmmm... how about a Sunday? I don't have to do the show on Sundays... and I don't need to get up on a Monday."

She thinks for a moment, "Yeahhhh... okay. I think I could do a Sunday. But we could do a Saturday after the show maybe?"

"True... we could. But what would you want to eat?"

She shrugs, "Anything... Italian food would do me."

I nod, "Okay well we'll go with whatever you want. I don't want you to be unhappy..."

"Nick, I promise I won't purge. I've been doing well, trust me."

I smile, "Gosh... it's like you knew what I was thinking."

"I know you too well Jonas. Now, should we watch a movie with popcorn... or should we make a random video of us and post it on YouTube?"

I chuckle, "But if we make a random video and put it on YouTube, Joe & Kev might find it."

"Not if post it on a new channel! No one would find it unless we tell them about it..."

"Yes but Demi, there's no point doing it then."

"Yes there is! It's a challenge for our fans and this day should be remembered. The day I start a relationship with the best guy in the world."

Awww man, I'm so unbelievably lucky to have her. I smile and nod, "Okay then. Let's do it."

"Cool. You have a camera right?"

I nod, "yeah... just a typical digital one, so the quality won't be THAT good."

She shrugs, "No matter. We don't need it to be in HD."

"Okay well it should be in my drawer next to my bed, so I'll get it."

I get off the bed from the other side, and I open the drawer. As I had said, the camera is here. I pick it up and take it out from it's bag, turning it on to find that luckily, it has plenty of battery. Then I thought that actually, we could just use the webcam on my laptop.

"Actually... how about we just use the webcam on my laptop?" I point to my computer that is on the desk opposite my bed.

She shrugs, "Whatever... webcam's fine."  
I nod and walk over to the laptop, lifting up the screen and turning it on.

I got me and Demi both chairs to sit on in front of the computer. After a few moments, the computer was now logged on. I clicked on the webcam symbol on the desktop screen.

Demi looked at me and grinned. I could still see a sparkle in her eyes.

I stare back at him and I ask, "So... you love me huh?"

She chuckles and rolls her eyes, "Yes you fool."

I stick my tongue out at her and then look back at the computer screen.

The webcam loads up, and then me and Demi pop up like a mirror, just as any webcam would.

I press the button that starts recording.

"Hey anyone out in the universe! Demi here... with my beloved Nick Jonas."

She looks at me and gives me this cute grin.

I look at the camera whilst waving and say, "Hey world, I'm Nick."

"Me and Jonas here have decided to upload this random video to see if anyone will find it without telling anyone. If you do find this, comment below." She winks at the camera.

"Dem... what if someone does find this. We can't upload this."

"Sure we can. If we don't tag anything or post it on Twitter or Facebook, no one will find it unless they actually know what they're searching for."

"I guess... but people could still find it in related videos."

She shrugs, "If they do, they do."

I look back at the screen, "We don't know why we're recording this."

Demi laughs, "Oh come on, it's a bit of fun... don't be such a grumpy pants."

"I will be a grumpy pants if anyone we know finds this."

Demi rolls her eyes, "But they won't! Why would they look upon a video that they won't care about? Lighten will ya! Viewers, tell him to lighten up."  
I place a hand on Demi's mouth, "Don't listen to her, she don't know what she is talking about."

Demi pushes my hand off, giggling. She was obviously finding this entertaining, and I guess it was. I was spending time with Demi, and it was awesome.

"Hey viewers listen to me, I'm the interesting one. Demi's the annoying one."

Demi's still laughing, "Oh shut up! You're the annoying one, you're being all boring and moody. Oh wait, that's you all the time!"

I can't help but chuckle at that. She's right, I am like this all the time. But I can't be unhappy around Demi, she brings out a side of me that no one else has ever brought out. Not even my brothers... except the occasional time.

"It's true guys... I am moody. But Demi is annoying... but I suppose a cute annoying."

"Yeah, I'm very cute. In fact, I'm better than cute. I'm gorgeous." Demi then lifts her hands up and places them in front of her as a gesture. I think she was trying to say, "just saying" with her hands, as she was pulling a silly twitched face look... you know, like those rappers do.

"I can't deny that guys... she is very gorgeous. In fact, she's better than gorgeous! She's the most beautiful woman in the world."

Demi rolls her eyes, "Okay this is clearly a show up on camera."

I then push Demi's chin, making sure her face was facing mine.

"You know that's not true."

"Nick... we're still filming. We can't be intimate in front of the camera."

"You said no one will find this video. And if they do... well, I've realised I don't care."

Demi smiles, placing a peck on my lips.

She then says, "Well I guess I can tell you that you're a very handsome man."

I smile back, a very big smile. I then reach over to the mouse and press the button to stop recording. As soon as I did that, I then turn round to face the computer once more, to open up google chrome browser. I then put " .com" into the search box.

On this website, I then make a new account and as soon I had done that, I then click 'upload', in which I placed in the file that we'd just made.  
That video that we just made was now uploaded for the whole world to see.

And like I said, I don't care. There is a part of me that worries that Joe and Kevin will find it, but if they do... they can't tell me off for dating Demi. I will tell them about us anyway.

It's my life, and I want to spend it with her for as long as I can.  
**  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

_Chapter 16_****

Demi's POV

Yesterday with Nick was magical. It's still so hard to believe that we're now more than we've ever been. But funnily enough, it doesn't seem different. Maybe we will always be the same, and for once I don't feel bad that we've taken a risk of ruining our friendship. I honestly think that this time being together won't ruin our friendship, because we are the same as we were.

Except of course we can kiss and hug intimately, and turn up to one another's house whenever. Well, as long as there's a good reason. But I mean it wouldn't be bad at all if Nick turned up at my house at midnight and wanted to spend the night with me... sleeping.

But eh, even when we weren't together I would have gladly let him.

It's ridiculous how we didn't just end up together straight away.

If I had met Nick before he met Miley, maybe he would have never been with her. I know that sounds a little selfish, but I think she's possibly one of the reasons that me and Nick have only just started something now.

But oh well, better late than never. Plus, we're only 19... it's not like we're 35 and already have kids with other people. I'm ecstatic that I could be spending a long time of my life with the amazing Nick Jonas. Yes, that does sound corny... but being with Nick is beyond words, it really is a relationship I've never had before.

In fact, all my other relationships were like taking a train... it's a short journey, it goes by really fast and it's pretty mundane.

Whilst with Nick, it's like... drinking Red Bull, and then being driven on a motorbike. Yes, it's fast looking... but you can watch all the things go by for hours without getting bored. The Red Bull just make things more crazy, making everything feel phenomenal. Perhaps you can add myself wearing nothing but lingerie into that equation, seeing as Nick makes me feel sexy all the time.

What I mean is, Nick never stops telling me how beautiful and gorgeous I am. I have to believe him when he thinks so because he wouldn't repeat something like that if he were lying. Plus, I don't see what he sees. I've never seen myself as I am. So maybe I am gorgeous! Hahaha.

That is a scary thought though isn't it? How he doesn't see what I see in him and I don't see what he sees in me. The mirror is lie and we can never know the truth. Unless someone somehow changes every single mirror in the universe, to look symmetrical. But that would be creating a disruption with the laws of physics. Well, I think so... i'm not that great when it comes to Science, I've always been better at English and History.

Anyway, so I find myself waking up in Nick's bed, but of course he wasn't in it. Nick insisted he slept on the couch because he would rather I had a good night rest. He seriously cares about me way too much.

So I step out of the bed, still wearing the same clothes from last night... seeing as I didn't bring any clothes with me.

Oh crap yeah... I have no other clothes.

Well, I suppose I'll have to wear the same clothes from yesterday.

Ugh, I need a shower.

I walk over across to the other side of the bedroom and open the door bathroom door...

OH SHIT!

"Oh my gosh Nick I'm so sorry!"

Yep.

Nick was just behind that door... butt naked.

I blush a heavy shade of red and close the door.

Nick comes out only wearing a towel over himself with a reassuring look on his face.

"Demi... don't panic..."

I sit back on the bed, slightly still in shock.

I'm not sure... but I could have err, seen his err well... you know.

"It's okay Nick, I should have knocked."

"No no I was too quiet... I understand."

Still standing only with the towel wrapped around the lower half of his body, I find it difficult to not get flustered and lightheaded from seeing his chest once more.

I had to stop myself from biting my lip out of frustration... even though I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

"Demi...?"

I look back up at him, and one of his eyebrows is raised and the other lowered to show his concern... but of course looking at me as if I had lost the plot.

"Sorry wha...?"

"Erm Demi... were you just err, checking me out?"

I then lower my eyes to the ground, probably blushing like crazy.

"No... of course not..."

Goddamn I need to get better at lying.

"Demi..."

I look back up at him, completely embarrassed. He's giving me a stern look, the corners of his mouth slowly raising into a smirk.

"Nick..."

Nick rolls his eyes and turns round, stepping back into the bathroom.

Eugh, if only he grabbed me and kissed me instead.

Ahem... I mean, whatever.

He comes back out, but this time with jeans on.

He still didn't have a shirt on.

He's giving me a playful smirk, staring right at me with those gorgeous, golden brown orbs.

"Nick... I know what you're doing."

"Do you?"

I roll my eyes this time, trying not to smile. I fold my arms and give him a firm look.  
"Yes I do. Now quit it."

"Ooo Demi... my eyes are up here."

I pout my lips, then I give him a playful smirk back myself.

I step closer towards him, and I gently rest my hand on his arm.

I look at him deeply in his eyes, and I say, "I know you can't resist me either." I wink at him and I then walk towards the bathroom, and I close the door so that I can have privacy when I take a shower.

But Nick didn't quite want that, barging into the bathroom and grabbing me from behind, trying to tickle me to my death.

I can't help but giggle and squeal, as I try to get out of his arm lock, away from being wrapped around my waist.

But it's no use, he's stronger than me... which would be worrying if he wasn't. He drags me back out of the bathroom and into the bed, where I fall into his chest. He smells so good, smells of cologne. I can't help but sniff him, but subtly of course.

I feel his body jerk as he chuckles, "You comfortable then?"

"Shut up Jick Nonas."

"Just because you know I'm right."

"Well I blame you for being comfortable... it means I have to lay here permanently now."

"Or it means I get off and you go and have a shower."

"I don't have to have a shower you know..."

"You sure about that?"

I gasp, pretending to be shocked by what he said. But of course I knew he was joking.

I get off him and turn round to face him with my fake appalled expression, my hand over my heart as if it's really hurt me.

"How dare you!"

Nick's looking at me with a cheesy, yet playful grin. He's biting his lip, which oh my god is so sexy.

"Demi, you know I'm hilarious."

I roll my eyes, fold my arms and chuckle at his silly humour.

Nick then looks at me again, but with a calmer smile, no longer with the same tease as it did before.

"Go and have a shower Dem, you'll feel better."

"But I have nothing to change into."

Nick shrugs, "Just borrow some of mine."

I snort. Is he freaking serious?

"Come on Nick... that's ridiculous."

"Oh why? Because they're boys clothes." He then mimics me deliberately making 'ner ner ner' noises to represents how I whinge.

I give him a poker face... and he keeps doing it, until I start to hide a smile.

Then I'm suddenly giggling like an idiot.

"Haha gotcha... now go and get yourself feeling fresh."

I roll my eyes and do what he says... because otherwise we'll keep arguing.

I walk back into the bathroom and shut the door closed, locking it so he can't get in for sure.

But Nick isn't a perv, so he wouldn't come in and grab me again.

I then look in the mirror, and see my hair is a bit messed up.

I do look... okay. I mean, the bags under my eyes have gone. Which is good, because I needed a good night sleep. And I got one for once.

At least I sleep better than I used to. I used to still be up at 4am a lot...

but now I'm slowly finding it easier again to go to bed at a fairly reasonable time.  
I'm not gonna lie, I have felt better in myself recently... and I think I need to thank Nick for that.

Whenever I look in the mirror now, I try not to think about whether I look 'disgusting' or 'ugly'.

Because that's what my demons want me to think... whilst the people who love me, like mom, my sisters and Nick... think of me far higher than that. Nick never stops telling me how beautiful I look, which is what i need to focus on. I can't keep thinking I look horrible, when others think the complete opposite of me. I have to train my brain.

Anyway, so I strip out of my t-shirt, jeans, bra and panties. I step into the shower, and I press the on button so that the water will start falling on to me. I then get a little shock, forgetting that the water won't have warmed up yet, seeing as it's only just been turned on. So I jump away from the water for a minute, and then I feel the water start getting lukewarm.

Once it was at about... 40 degrees celsius temperature, I step back under the showerhead and I close my eyes to the wondrous feeling of the hot water splashing on my hair, face and body. I begin to hum, the feeling so relaxing and comforting on my skin.

I realised that it would have been better if I had brought my own shampoo, facial and body wash stuff... but I wasn't even expecting to stay here, so I've got Nick's stuff to use.

He left them on the bottom of the shower, probably thinking that I might need them. How sweet he thought of me. Either that, he's still lazy to put them away.

I pick the shampoo up from the floor, finding that he uses American Crew. Huh, well that makes sense. I couldn't imagine him using Herbal Essences or Loreal. Well, I'm sure it will smell nice. I open the lid and get a whiff of the shampoo. I take the dark and rich smell of it... getting spicy notes of rosemary... well something like that. Smelled good enough for me.

I pour some of the substance onto my hand... well, as much as I need, and I rub it into my head. I make sure it's covered all over my hair, and I then reach down to hopefully find a facial wash or cleanser... but no. I pick up a bar of soap, which I gather Nick uses for his body and face. Ugh, men. Should have known Nick wasn't any different. I chuckle, and I shout out for him.

He comes rushing to the door, still not peeking through just in case. "Yeah?"

"Have you got anything for ladies? You know... facial wash that isn't soap."

Nick chuckles, "Right... erm, well... I have more soap? Sorry, but I don't buy Clearasil."

"Ha... you're funny. Well, where is it? I don't want to use your soap since you've probably used it to wash your ass."

"Thanks for that! There's more soap in the mirrored cupboard."

I giggle as he walks away from the door. I quickly rush out of the shower, completely STARK NAKED and open the cupboard to find about 5 bars of soap. He stocked up then! I grab one, and with a close call I re enter the shower without Nick even seeing me naked.

Haha well... I hope.

"Nick!"

He comes back fairly quickly, grunting out of annoyance. Hehe, am I annoying him?

He sighs, "Yes Demi..."

"You weren't just peeking through were you?"

"No! I was... erm... I was..."

I gasp, knowing he's lying.

"You're lying!"

"No I'm not... I just... I..."

"Did you see me naked?!"

"No, I didn't see you naked... I was peeking through when I was talking to you just now."

I sigh with relief, "Oh good, that's okay then."

"What? You don't want me seeing your body?" I hear the teasing in his voice.

I smirk, "It's not that..."

"Then what is it?"

"Well... I'd prefer if you did see me naked, I would see you naked at the same time."

There was silence.

Oh no, did I say something bad?

I hear him suddenly let out a huge sigh.  
"You're going to be the death of me Dem..."

I frown, and I hear his footsteps move away from the door.

Had I upset him? What did he mean by I was going to be the death of him?

Nick doesn't puzzle me much... but this is one of those times.

"Nick! What does that mean?"

I get no answer, so I quickly wash my face and body with the soap and jump out of the shower as soon as I felt clean enough. I grab the towel that was next to the sink, and I wrap it round my body. I come out of the shower, to find that Nick wasn't in the bedroom, but was in the kitchen cooking. For me I wonder? Well, I guess I am hungry.

Would he be okay with me just wrapped in this towel? I don't know, but I don't want to my panties back on when I've just a shower. They're probably dirty!

I just sit down on one of the stools that is next to the kitchen counter, which I'm presuming you sit to eat on. Nick turns around and smiles at me. He then looks down slightly, and his eyes widen. I smirk, picking up an apple spontaneously from his fruit bowl, and biting into it.

He then gives me the evil eyes, and turns back around to what he has been doing. I casually watch him from behind, and notice that he had been stirring a mixture in a glass bowl. He then opens up one of the drawers, and pulls out a ladle. He places the ladle in the mixture and picks some of the mixture with the ladle, and carefully from what I can see, pours it onto a pan.

Oooo yay he's making pancakes! I love pancakes. Well, he knew that so that's probably why he's making them. I don't think Nick could be any kinder. The amazing, sexy, caring, irresistible son of a bitch he is... but he's mine, and oh my god that is still hard to believe.

Within 5 minutes or so, Nick has now made a perfect looking pancake. I lick my lips naturally, definitely now intrigued to have a taste. He picks out a plate from the cupboard, a knife and knock from the drawer, and then gets out the maple syrup he had in the fridge. He pours the maple syrup over the pancake, and then picks the plate up and hands it to me. I look up at him, and he's giving me that warm, gentle smile that I always know and love.

I smile back at him, barely able to say "thank you". My voice was suddenly so tiny, and I couldn't help but stare at him. This is one of those times, in which Nick has left me unable to speak. He's done this a few times, and I hate him for it. But not really, I love him and can never hate him.

He's staring right back at me, not moving a muscle. I stand up from the stool, almost forgetting I had to hold onto the towel that is still wrapped around me.  
I walk round the kitchen counter, up to Nick. I'm now standing right in front of him, and I manage to ask him this time...

"What do you mean I'm going to be the death of you?"

He chuckles, "What a silly question Demi..."

"How?"

"Don't you know?"

I shake my head, and he's looking at me with evil eyes.

"Do I have to say it?"

I nod, giving him an honest innocent smile. I genuinely wanted to know... having only a vague idea what his answer maybe.

"Because you're beautiful, cute, charming, funny, wise, strong and passionate."

I have to smile at that, a proper 100 watt smile.

I lay my head on to Nick's shoulder, and I whisper...

"You'll be the death of me too."

I can almost hear Nick smile at that, as he places his arms around me tightly.

What a wonderful morning.


	17. Chapter 17

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

Chapter 17

**Nick's POV**

I love her I love her I love her I love her.

I can't not love her.

She's perfect.

She's mine and she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

I'm not being corny, I'm being freaking serious.

I love her so much.

More than she'll ever know. It saddens me she doesn't know how amazing she is. If I could just be with her, and only her for the rest of my life... I would never get tired of it.

I want to share food together,

I want to have picnics together,

I want to watch the sunset together,

I want to go on road trips together,

I want to lay on the beach together,

I want to go on adventures together...

I just want to do everything together.

I want her with me forever...

I want to grow old with her.

Let's face it, I want to marry her.

***Ahem***

Whoaaaaa get it together Nick.

Marrying her?

That's crazy...

I mean, surely she doesn't want that?

I can't imagine she wants to get married anytime soon.

She might not even want to be with me like I want to be with her. She might find some other guy and ditch me.

Oh god I hope she doesn't ditch me. Please don't ditch me Demi.

***Ahem***

Okay so I've been making pancakes, just because I could and I knew that Demi would like them. It looks as if she's really getting better, because she didn't hesitate to eat the pancakes... even if she only ate 2. She's now gone back to my room, probably deciding what clothes she's going to wear.

Well I told her she can wear some of my clothes if she's really worried. I don't mind if she wears one of my boxers or something.

I definitely wouldn't mind actually...

***Ahem***

I really need to stop doing that. All I ever seem to do now is fantasise about Demi.

If I keep doing this, I'll end up going insane. I'll end up doing something real stupid.

But man, I can't do that. I have to hold it together, even though there's a part of me that would love to see the look on Joe, Kev and dad's faces, I can't tell them the truth just yet. They won't approve and I already know it. I only know I would get approval from mom and Frankie. I guess that's because they ain't fucking control freaks like my brothers and my father 's annoyed me how over the past couple of years, Joe, Kevin and dad have been looking further and further down at me, thinking that I'm too stupid to make my own decisions. They'd never actually admit that, but they are. Ever since what happened with Demi, they've felt they can no longer trust me like they used to. For some reason because I could see how broken Demi was, and how I was defending her... I was the bad guy.

They were so stubborn, so ignorant, that they forgot that they were Demi's friends... and they treated her like dirt. It's taking me a long time to forgive them, because my relationship with Joe and Kev has been tempered with. They are not the same two big bros that I used to see them as. Yeah sure I still talk to them, and yeah I still plan to make music with them and see them on visits and stuff... but recently, that's all they've ever been... 2 band members, whom I only see for publicity and fans.

I've lost respect for them, and I barely trust them now. I still love them, and I will still be there for them when they get caught in trouble... but until they forgive me, I don't think we'll ever be the same. I don't think I'll ever see them like when I was kid, and when I was an early teen. They still make me laugh, but things get so awkward between me and them after a while. I can't be around them for more than an hour without wanting to shout at them. The main reason why our relationship has gone downhill, is because they won't accept they were wrong. They won't accept that actually, it's their fault that everything smashed to smithereens. But somehow, they still believe it was Demi... they believe I'm hoodwinked or something, like Demi's got me under a spell. But no, they're completely wrong. They are the ones who are blind, who can't see what's going on. In fact no, they WON'T see what's going on.

I don't understand why they've been like this... I mean they have no reason to be! Somehow they've forgotten that Demi was their BEST FRIEND.

Anyway... I need to stop focusing on my anger on them, and focus on the fact that Demi is with me all day and that makes me very happy.

It's 10am, and it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, and I feel alive.

In fact, let's put on the radio... as I wait for Demi.

Yeahhhh don't judge me but I still have an old radio... because I'm cool like that. I much prefer listening to the radio on actual radio, rather than listening to it online. I listen to any radio really, just as long as I like the music that's playing. I twist the knob, the radio making it's usual static noise... until I landed on something catchy, and very old school. But also, a song that describes the moment perfectly.

"I used to think maybe you love me, now baby I'm sure...

and now I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door.

Now everytime I go for the mailbox, I gotta hold myself down.

Cause I just can't wait till the day you write me you're coming round."

I start sing along, and well... I can't help but jiggle to this classic tune.

"I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE... WOAAAH! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE!"

I'm dancing around like a fool, with a hairbrush in my hand... when I turn around to find Demi standing at the door giggling. I stop dancing and I shut the radio off. She's still giggling, looking at me with her big grin.

"Aww why turn it off? That was cute."

I laugh sarcastically at her, "Ha-ha very funny shut up."

"But I'm serious though! I love that song."

I roll my eyes and turn it back on.

Demi starts to dance to it, singing along to it too. I smile at her, and chuckle a little... joining in with the dancing.

She then takes my hand and we start to do the usual swing dance you would do in a ballroom or a fancy party. She's laughing and I'm laughing... she grabs the hairbrush off of me and belches out "I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE... WOAHHH" and I sing along with her. We keep singing along, and we keep laughing and dancing... probably looking like nutjobs, as I notice she's actually decided to wear one of my t-shirts and one of my pairs of jeans, along with that a denim shirt on top and one of my old bowler hats. She looks great, and oddly better in my clothes than I do. I guess she was bound to wear my clothes at some point... I just didn't think so soon. But yeah, she looks amazing in my clothes. I love how she suits denim so well.

I look down at her wearing them, and I can't help but smile and gawp at her body a little bit. But before I even get a few more seconds Demi lifts my chin with her index finger and gives me a cheeky grin.

"My eyes are up here big boy." She gives me a wink, and I just give her a funny look. You know, the kind of retorted sneery look.

"Like you've never check me out" I retort back.

"I never said I didn't." She winks again, and I have to bite my lip from smiling too much.

Sometimes I find it really hard not to just do something crazy in one of these moments. Ever since Dallas asked me if I wanted to have sex with Demi... it's all that's been crossing my mind. This is really bad, but Dallas was right... a guy has needs. I didn't realise until she said it how much I really want to. But I would NEVER take advantage of Demi. I never ever want to hurt her. If Demi ever wanted to do it, it would be her choice not mine.

To be honest... I'd hope that we'd still be together in a few years, and then I can propose to her. Oh god thinking about it again...

***Ahem***

But Demi can't possibly love me more than I love her.

Demi was probably telling me the truth when she told me how she felt about me... but does she honestly love me? Does she love me or loves the thought of me? I know it's so stupid to question... but she might not actually want me, but actually wants a guy that is like me. I mean how could she possibly want to fall in love with a guy who is her ex's brother?

But I guess for now, I need to stop questioning all this... and just spend the time I DO have with her, rather than worry about the time I won't have with her. But the idea of it... the idea of her loving me back. It's really hard to imagine. Especially when all I can ever think about is that day, that day she went into treatment. And how angry I felt.

**November 1, 2010**

"What the hell is going on?"

I enter the meeting room of the venue backstage in Peru.

Joe and Kevin look at me with what I could only describe as guilt, but also slight anger.

My dad answers, "Demi's gone."

I frown, "What do you mean she's gone?"

"As in she's gone. She's left the tour."

I feel my heart sink.

I feel everything start to get smaller.

I feel my world and mind collapse right in front of my eyes.

Demi was gone.

She was just... gone.

I barely manage words, as I ask "Did she leave a note?"

My dad shakes his head.

"S-shouldn't we... shouldn't we go find her? She could be unsafe."

"How can we find her with no lead?"

"Call her cell maybe?"

"Well you go ahead son..."

"Yeah that's right... it's always gotta be me who looks after her. Cause none of you will."

I take my cellphone out of my jean pocket, and speed dial Demi's number.

My heart quickens, begging for her to pick up.

It rings and rings, and I can barely breathe.

It goes to voicemail.

I hang up the phone.

"Goddamn it Demi... what are you doing leaving like this?" I think to myself.

"You could have told me you were leaving, you could have told me you couldn't continue. I would have been there... always."

"Voicemail?" Joe asks.

I turn round, let out a heavy sigh and nod.

"Well this is just great. Did she really have to pull a stunt like this?"

I was shocked.

How could dad say that? How could he not even consider that she may not have even left on purpose? She might have broken down... she might have seriously injured herself.

"Seriously dad? You're not even going to consider that she might be really hurt?"

"Nick... she's SUPPOSED to be the opening act of this tour. She shouldn't be running off! Haven't you noticed that she'd been getting ahead of herself, going to late night parties and doing stupid things?"

"Who gives a damn about her being the opening act! She probably did run off... but you know why? Because every single one of you couldn't give a shit about how she felt! None of you even CONSIDERED that she could be struggling. All you cared about was pleasing everyone, pleasing the press. NONE of you ever cared about how she was feeling. Thanks to you guys, she's broken down. She probably left because she couldn't handle it anymore... because you guys fucking didn't support her. So well done, give yourselves a round of applause."

I turn to walk out, ignoring my dad demanding me to not walk away. I shut the door, banging it closed.

"Ugh! Screw all of them. Why the hell were they being like dicks? I mean even dad for christ sake! What were their problems? Why were they all so odd with Demi? She did nothing... yet Joe goes no blame for treating her like dirt."

"I'm going to find her... I'm going to make sure she's okay."

"I'm going to head to her house first... or at least her parents' house."

"Nick...? You okay there? Nick?"

Whoops... I must have blanked for a while.

Suddenly I was back in present time, out of my trance... with Demi right in front of me.

Damn it. I shouldn't be thinking about the past. She's here now and she's safe with me.

"Whoa sorry Dem..."

"What happened? You zoned out for a little bit."

"Nothing really, was just thinking of something."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Ohhh don't worry... nothing important."

"Are you sure? It looked important in your eyes."

"I'm sure. There's nothing more important than being here with you."

I give her a warm smile, and she gives me her shy smile... blushing a little.

She can be so cute when she's modest.

But wasn't sorting out her past just as important?

That night never got resolved.

She never actually told me what happened properly.

**_Should I even be worrying?_**


	18. Chapter 18

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

Chapter 18

**Demi's POV**

2 weeks later… (20th April)

"Why can't you talk about it to him?" Dallas asks.

She was nagging at me down the telephone to tell Nick about my experience in treatment.

"Because I'm not ready to!"

"What Demi, that doesn't make any sense. Don't you think it would actually be easier to tell him than to bottle it up? I mean sure, you're being more honest with him, but you're still not telling him everything. You need to take that leap, he's your best friend."

"Well yeah…and erm, he is also my er, well er,… my…"

"Boyfriend?"

I frown, "How did you know?"

I hear her snort. "Oh come on… you really think you could have got away with keeping it from me? i figured it out instantly."

"Damn it Dallas, why do you have to know me so well?"

"Because… I'm your big sis, and I'm supposed to protect you. But I guess it's Nick job now too. And if he doesn't protect you, I will shove my boot up his ass."

I can't help but chuckle at the idea. It would be a rather funny, but unpleasant sight.

"He'll look after me, and I'll look after him."

"Strangely, for the first time… I'm going to trust you on this one."

"Thanks for that."

"What? Do you really think I was going to trust any of the douchebags you've dated? Hell to the no. I didn't even trust Wilmer."

"Why have you changed with Nick? He could be a douchebag… I mean Joe is his brother."

Dallas chuckles, "Well… let's just say, Nick looks at you differently to the other guys. He doesn't look at you like a big stack of beef burgers."

"How does he look at me?"

"Like you're the most precious diamond he's ever seen… and he has to buy it."

"Oh shush, that's bull."

"Is it? Come on Dem, he's crazy about you."

"Yeah yeah so I've been told. And I think he's crazy for that."

"Well you would. You can't accept that someone actually has fallen for you."

"I know. I can't even accept myself falling for someone."

"Well, that's the first step to this relationship. Not being afraid to fall."

"What's after that?"

"Accept Nick falling for you."

"Then?"

Dallas chuckles, "Well…. making babies and getting married."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"Well, don't you want that?"

"I don't know… it's too early in the relationship to decide."

"Oh come on! You've been friends with this guy for like what? 6 years? You know him too well to be reluctant about that."

"It's not that I don't trust Nick… I KNOW he'd be a good husband and father, but not me. I don't trust me."

"Well fucking trust yourself goddamnit! Stop being afraid and start being brave."

"Okay okay! Jeesh."

"So… are you going to tell him about treatment? And more importantly, are you going to tell him how you feel?"

"Well, I kinda have… but not fully."

"What did you say?"

"Well I told him how when he was dating Miley, I dated Cody for a little bit to get my mind off of him. Then I told him that Joe was because of him dating Selena… and all that. Then I told him some other stuff that was kind of embarrassing…"

Dallas is laughing again, "Hahaha oh god… you told him you get sexually frustrated over him?"

"Yeah…. really dumb I know."

"Nah it's fine, he's probably really happy about that."

"Would he be?"

"Of course! I mean, what did he tell you?"

"That he's loved me for a long time, and how he dated Selena to get his mind off of me… and how he possibly liked me during the break up with Miley, and the start of his relationship with Selena. Then he went on to say he cared about me a lot and.. well, how he got flustered about me too."

"See! Exactly! He wants you Dem… he wants you goooood."

"Shut up Dallas. You don't know nothing."

She then starts making stupid fake sex noises… "Urgh oh Nick… ugh right there yeah. Ohhh… oh yes."

"Dallas seriously, you're not funny."

"Oh come on… you're telling me you don't want that? You don't want to have a little bit of him? I mean if you weren't with him, I certainly would. Don't tell him this, but I do think he's a very attractive man."

I can't help but laugh, the idea of my sister flirting with Nick.

"Oh god Dallas… control your hormones."

"And get yours out of the nunnery!"

I gasp, "Just because I'm still a virgin doesn't mean I'm some prude!"

"Will you stop getting pissy? You know I'm kidding."

If I was talking to her faced to faced, I would stuck my tongue out at her.

"Fine fine fine…"

"Now, be honest with yourself. Do you want to have sex with Nick?"

I sigh… and I eventually reply meekly. "Yes fine yes… I do."

"Finally, you admit it. BUT I'm not saying you have to rush it. I know he won't force you… so just let him know when you feel you want to. Because it is probably a bit too early at this point."

"Right, gotcha. Thanks Dallas."

"It's what I'm here for… sadly."

"Yeah well… I'm not so happy with you either."

She then mimics what I say with a silly voice and puts the phone down.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have an annoying older sister… but at the same time, I couldn't have had anyone better.

I haven't seen Nick in a week… but I'm busy doing a couple of gigs in South America which I have been pretty excited about. Nick has gone to play baseball with his brothers, even though he kept saying he wanted to be with me in Peru. I told him no though, I wanted him to know that I'm not dependent anymore, and that I can look after myself. I think he just wanted to support me though. But maybe Dallas was right, I really needed to tell him everything. He needs to know that I'm far better than I was, at that things have changed a lot since treatment. I think if I don't tell him, he will still treat me like a fragile china doll that needs to be taken care of. But I'm not like that now.

I'm on the aeroplane now, and I look outside my tiny window. I see that we're very close to landing. Everything looks so beautiful up here, so enchanting. I always forget how everything looks so strange when you're up in the air, looking down at how tiny it all is. I'm sitting next to one of my back up singers Sierra. She's become a fairly close friend of mine, who I do sometimes see when I'm off tour and I don't have tons planned. She's great, and I sometimes talk to her personal things… but mainly it's just business.

I can't wait to see all my fans… all their pretty little faces.

I hear the screaming of fans echoing around the arena.

I hear them shouting out my name, ecstatic to see me.

I can't help but smile… the feel of getting on stage once more was surreal, but one of the most amazing feelings.

It still amazes me sometimes when I hear them all screaming, crazy that it's all for me.

I still have to get it in my head every now and then that people do truly love me, and see me as an inspiration.

That feeling… is so beyond words. It's indescribable how much I've changed people's lives.

But I'm glad I have. That's what I want to do. I want to help people. This is why I make music.

I know how those girls and boys have felt… with the pain and suffering they've had to go through. I've always felt that somehow, I can reach them with my music, make them feel they're not alone when it comes to feeling depressed and miserable. I hope that the issues I have gone through, can somehow help someone deal with theirs.

So coming up onto the stage was like being with my family, my big family of Lovatics.

I wouldn't change my life at all. It might have had it's tough times… but it's all in the matter of making me stronger. Maybe one thing I would change is this constant feel of being fat, this eating disorder that I've grown up with. If I could have one day where I didn't care how much I weighed or how many calories I had, then I'd probably be content. Everything else though, I am very thankful for. I'm thankful for those who have helped with this daily battle, I'm thankful for my friends and family, I'm thankful for Nick. Plus all my fans and how I've got plenty to live on. I shall remain forever grateful.

So here I am, on the up lift panel that brings me up to the top of the stage… the one that I have stepped on many times before.

I hear the cheers get even louder, when I finally pop up in front of the crowd. I can see them all just very slightly at this top, but once I get down the steps then they'll definitely see me.

I step off the panel and All Night Long begins to play. My two backup singers appear, along with the band and back up dancers. The screams that were minor now become far stronger and I find myself strutting down the stairs to the song, moving my hips round and round. Somehow I feel superior on this stage, like being up here is a way of fighting those demons inside my head.

"I love the way you're talking,

I'm loving what you're doing boy.

I don't fall easily often,

I've never had a love like you before.

I like you put your number put your number in my phone phone phone phone phone phone phone yeah…

you heard me right so call me call me when you're all alone alone alone alone alone alone alone...

Don't make plans!

Come along with me we'll stay up all night long

I want you in I want you bad!

Let's get the party going all night long

let's get the party going all night long, all night long, all night long, all night all night

all night long, all night long, all night all night a-a-a-all night…"

"Hey guys…

I'm finishing up now, and I just wanna say…

that I'm really happy to be able to share this intimate night with you all…

because I love coming out here, and singing to you guys.

I know that a lot of you, will have gone through a lot of pain…

and I just want to let you know that… you are not alone.

If you have problems that you can't deal with, please tell someone.

I made the mistake of bottling things up, and that's how I broke down.

Talking about things may seem hard, but they really help in the long run.

I really hope that music can be there with you, because I'm here with you.

Even when I'm not there, just remember this time we've had tonight…

and remember whenever you put my music on, that I'm always in your hearts.

I care for every single one of you, and my plan is to get you guys all together as one.

Stay Strong guys, and I love you all goodnight."

I stand up from the piano where I had just played Skyscraper, and I turn around whilst halfway up the stairs to face my fans one last time before I go backstage. I wave to all of them as much as I can, and I give them floating kisses. I make sure I give them a wide smile, to show that I really am genuinely happy to see every single one of them. I keep waving, and then after about a minute or two, I turn back round and run up the stairs. I'm proud of myself that throughout this whole concert I did not once trip.

I step back up on the panel, and I get brought back down… where I am no longer in the limelight, and my demons are able to attack me once more. Well, that is if I let them. But I won't, because tonight's been incredible.

I find my crew, security and my dad behind the large curtain. Dad sees me and gives me a warm smile.

I walk up to him and hug him tightly, beaming a smile that makes me feel good inside.

"Another great show tonight baby doll."

"Thanks dad."

"Now… someone's in your dressing room to see you."

I let go of dad and give him a confused face.

"Really? Who?"

"Someone you like." He gives me a grin, as he notes that my face probably still says "what the hell" on it.

So I leave dad to go to my dressing room to see what on earth he was talking about.

Is it a friend? Is it someone that I'm not expecting? This isn't a joke dad's pulling on me… is it?

I finally get to my dressing room in suspense to find…

"Oh my god Nick!"

Nick turns round with a bunch of flowers in his hands.

He gives me that smile that makes me melt and pull him into a huge hug.

"Whoa… don't ruin the flowers."

I giggle and let go of him so he can breathe.

"Holy crap you came all the way to Peru! What are you doing here?"

"Here for you of course."

"But aren't you meant to be playing baseball?"

"I never played. I've been at your concert the whole time."

"Nick! We had a deal. How could you fly all the way here without me knowing..."

"It was easy. And yeah I know... but I don't stick to things."

I cross my arms, "You sure don't."

He gives me a huge grin and hands over the flowers.

"Ooo you got me lavender! I love lavender."

"I know, that's why I got it."

"You're so cheesy dude."

He frowns at me and gasps, "how can you say that?"

"Well… flowers is so cliche. Where's my new car?"

"Girrrl you already have a car!" He's now putting on a silly over the top Texan accent now.

I play back, "Well gee golly you sure sound like home!"

He then poker faces me and lightens his accent again, "Shut up Demi."

"How's about no Jick Nonas?"

"Right that's it…"

I suddenly find myself tipped over, and I'm now on Nick's shoulder… as he has picked me up.

"Nick put me down!" I start laughing.

"Never!"

He's making me laugh louder, and he's taking me out of the dressing room.

"Nick please, put me down!"

"Yeah yeah in a minute."

"No now you meanie!"

"I'm not a meanie… you deserve this for being mean to me!"

"Awww come on, you know I'm kidding."

"You're not very nice about it..." He slips me back down, and he gives me a pouty face.

I imitate his pouty face and I then give him a kiss on the cheek.

He then instantly smiles, "Now that's what I'm talking about..."

I roll my eyes and take his hand, dragging him back into the dressing room. I pull him to sit next to me on the sofa that I sat on whenever I needed a breather or some time alone.

"Why have you dragged me in here?"

"Because I need to talk to you."

"Oh… okay? What about?"

"Well…"

"Oh no… you're not breaking up with me are you?"

I slap Nick lightly on the arm. He pretends to be hurt and gives me another pouty look.

"I was only asking…"

"Of course not dumbo! No, I wanted to talk to you about something quite important."

Nick's face then turns all serious, "Okay I'm listening." He knits his eyebrows slightly, looking right at me with his big muddy brown eyes that catch my attention so easily.

"I've realised… that I think, I should be more honest with you. I never told you about the night I went into treatment. In fact, I didn't tell you anything, and I think you deserve to know what happened."

"But Dem, that's a lot of hard hitting memories…"

"I know… but the whole point of me repairing and becoming unbroken is telling you everything."

He nods, "If you're sure."

"I am. So… when I went into treatment that night, I honestly thought I lost you forever. I literally felt there was no way I was going to better, and that I was never going to get out. The reason I never called you until now was because when I was treatment, it was highly strict. You could only make certain phone calls at certain times. I couldn't purge, I couldn't cut, I couldn't go back into contact with any that really affected me. Which meant… not calling you. But I realised, thanks to mom and Dallas, that actually… now that I've improved a hell of alot more, it was okay to talk to you again. What the doctors and psychiatrists didn't tell me was that sometimes, people in your life that you left behind can actually be the reason you're not getting better. Yes it was a good idea at first to not talk to you… but then after a while I missed you so damn much. I needed you back in my life, despite our history. You were the only one who truly helped me when we were on tour, you did all you could. I was far too broken for you to be able to cope with me. What would have been better is to have left you a little letter before running off. I left you without a word, which didn't actually do any good. I can't imagine how you felt, but I'm so sorry if I hurt you."

Nick gave me a tiny bleak smile, and stared at me with warmth. I could see a small tear running down his cheek.

He took my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Damn Dem… thank you."

"For what?"

"For trusting in me." Another small tear fell from his face.

"Don't cry Nick…"

"I can't help it. You shouldn't be apologising for not talking to me. You had to get better… that was far more important than worrying about how I felt. I completely understand, and I'm so glad that you had the time to think things through. I don't ever want to be the reason you're not healing… that would break me. Sure, I felt sad… and angry that you were gone. But I was angry at myself, I never thought I did enough for you, I felt like I failed you."

"Oh Nick… you never failed me. You did it all, you actually got me to realise how damaged I was. I was sick, and that was never your fault. I can't thank you enough for what you did for me. You're… you're, the most kindest, caring, compassionate man I have ever met." I felt myself starting to break into tears.

I feel Nick take me in his arms, his body so warm and fuzzy against mine.

I feel safe…

I feel loved.

I can't think of any better feeling in the world than being with Nick right now.

This is me...

falling.

Goddamn you Nick Jonas.

I don't want to fall in love.

But you're making me fucking do so.


	19. Chapter 19

**It's Been A While Since We Last Spoke**

Chapter 19

**Nick's POV**

I had to leave separately from Demi... as we're not ready to tell anyone about us.

Demi told me that Dallas found out, but I'm not worried about her knowing.

Only Demi's family really know about us... as Eddie surprisingly doesn't have a problem with me. I guess he had to warm up to me maybe? I don't know him THAT well, but I've had past conversations with him… and he seems like a swell guy. He's definitely good to Demi, as if he were her real dad.

It's now pretty late at night, the sunset is caving in and the orangey strong tint from the sun was blaring upwards, making red, purple colours mix with the moonlight sky. It was beautiful out here in Peru. I don't come here often enough. For a moment, looking at the sunset, made me think about how beautiful Demi is… and how she could be like this sunset. Sounds awfully corny of me… she's made me a sap.

So it's time to be heading into my car now. I spent some time with people outside the venue when they did see me, so it's okay if people assume I was there to see Demi's concert. But no one can know that we're intimate. Not yet anyway. I had some fans talk to me for a little while, and when Demi was signing autographs and getting pictures, I gave her a small wink and smile. She responded back with a smile. It was nice enough that we could at least exchange some emotion, but I didn't go up to her in case we got a load of questions.

I did get a couple of girls ask me if I was friends again with Demi though. I nodded and smiled, noticing Demi looking at me when they were talking to me. I looked at her again, and she smiled again, but with more warmth and laziness in her eyes. She's probably exhausted.

It was so cute to see Demi with her fans though; she treated them with respect just like I would. She loves her fans truly, which is one of the reasons she is so amazing and genuine. In some ways she reminds me of myself, with how she tries to show compassion, and kindness. She shows mercy.

She showed me mercy.

I kept the faith in her.

When I gave another glimpse at Demi when the girls left me, I couldn't help but stare at her complexion, her pure, honest colours. She honestly enjoyed being around her fans. She gave them her cheeky smile with tongue, making the goofiest poses I could imagine. I couldn't help but snigger. Demi heard and stuck her tongue out at me.

I whisper to her, "You're cute."

She gives me a huge grin and says "I know."

I almost get the urge to run up to her and kiss her… but I have to fight that when we're around here. I noticed a couple of girls look at the both of us. I hope we weren't being too obvious.

Anyway so it's time to leave now, so Demi gives me a signal to tell me that she's heading to her car. I nod and once she gets closer to her car, I pretend that I'm leaving to go somewhere else. I quickly go up to Demi and hug her as a fake goodbye. She makes sure I don't hold on for too long so no one is suspicious. I let go and march towards my car whilst giving Demi a wave as she starts to pull out of the parking space.

I find my car as it was and I open the door to get in. I never get tired of my baby. It's a 1968 Ford Mustang and I will cherish it for as long as I live. Yeah yeah I know it's just a car but it's more than that to me. It's held memories now ever since I got it when I was 16. Demi has a Mercedes Benz, which is a pretty good car actually. But it doesn't beat my baby. But I guess that's because she chose a sensible car for all occasions whilst I live on the edge in mine. She's also more practical and smart, whilst I'm hopeless. The choice of my car suits my personality too, being a hopeless romantic for her. Anyway moving on…

I take my keys out of my pocket and place the right key into the ignition. I then put my seat belt on and start to gently whirl my wheel round to get the tyres to face the right way. Good thing is that I didn't park in such a tight spot. But I'm always cautious because if anything happened to this car I'd be pretty stooped.

I see Demi up ahead now start to head in the direction of the villa she's staying at. I start to follow her, and thankfully I make sure I'm right behind. I see Demi wave her hand up to signal she sees me. I wave back, hoping she sees me in her mirror. She gives me thumbs up and starts to speed up. I have no clue where we're going, but Demi will show me the way anyway. She insists I go back to the hotel, which I don't know why… but I guess I'll find out when I get there.

I get out of my car to find myself in at the hotel. Demi gets out of her car and comes over to me, taking my hand and dragging me into the room she's staying in. The whole hotel is a huge villa, similar to the buildings you'll find in Italy or Spain. I can't deny her so she opens the door with her key, and pushes me on to the sofa in the living area. It was a really comfy sofa. Demi opens up the huge glass doors that lead to the pathway where the sandy beach is. It's really hot here so I'll presume she's dying of heat. "How dare you push me?" She sticks her tongue out at me and walks out of the living room. "Wait where you going?"

"Relax dude! I'm in the kitchen. Just stay there and I'll fix you up some food."

"Oh but Demi I'm not that hungry that's okay."

"Come on Nick, it's really late and I'm sure you haven't eaten in hours. I'm going to eat so you better eat too!"

I sigh, "Fine fair enough. What are you going to make?"

"Just something quick and easy… perhaps we have some fajitas?"

"Oh sure... I like fajitas!"

"Fajitas it is then!"

I then put my hands and balance them on the back of my head and place my feet on the coffee table.

"Awww yeah, mi lady's making me food."

Demi then comes out of the kitchen and faces me with a face as if to say, "what the f?"

She's frowning at me, giving me a disgusted look. She shakes her head.

"What ARE you doing Jick Nonas?"

"What? I'm just being cool."

"More like being a dork."

"Oh I see… I'm not allowed to quote mi lady's old show."

She gasps, "You're trying to be Chad!"

"Pffft no! … Okay yeah."

She chuckles and smiles her tongue smile, you know the one where she pushes her tongue halfway through her teeth. It's whenever she's being insanely cute, and it drives me a little wild when she does it. It's like she's flirting with me.

"We're better than Sonny and Chad."

"Indeed we are… you're far better as Demi."

I stand up and bring Demi into a hug, but she pushes away.

"Whoa mister! Don't hold me when I'm making food! I'll get distracted and won't make the food any quicker."

"Mmmm true yes! Okay go back to it then missy."

She looks at me sarcastically, her hands on her hips.

"What's the magic word?"

I retort back sarcastically, "Pwease Miss Demi Wovato!"

"Ha-ha… you're so funny."

She turns round and gives me the finger as she walks back into the kitchen.

I gasp loudly and chuckle to myself.

"Mmmm that was great. Thanks Dem." We're sitting on the couch and I've just finished eating the fajitas Demi made.

I give her a kiss on the cheek, but just as I do that Demi turns her head to face me and she looks right into my eyes.

"Nick… when do you have to go back to New York?"

"Pretty much tomorrow…"

"Awww well, if that's the case then I think you should stay here…"

My eyes widen, and I look at Demi in slight surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah…" Demi then places her lips on mine.

For a second I keep my eyes open, to notice the look on Demi's face. She has her eyes closed, and she looks peaceful. It's so strange when you see the person kissing you, but with Demi it wasn't strange. It was just… interesting to see.

I close my eyes and I kiss her back gently, my tongue slightly lingering on her bottom lip. But I choose to ease the kiss and I let go.

I open my eyes to find Demi frowning slightly.

"Hey… is something wrong?"

"No Demi… nothing at all. I just, I just think that maybe we've been rushing things."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well… the fact that we kissed the night we first saw each other again in a long time."

"Yeah but we've kissed before, it's not going to be any different. Besides, you had no self-control and neither did I."

"But isn't that kind of bad? Shouldn't we be taking things slow?"

"We are. It's not like we're making out every 5 seconds. I haven't spent tons of time with you anyway, so it's a good thing I did get a chance to kiss you and spend a little time with you. There really is no need to be worried Nick."

"Argh I know I'm being stupid."

"No… you're just playing way too safe, too safe for me."

"Huh… I didn't think I was playing it safe enough."

"I'm not the same overly damaged girl who left you in 2010. I've grown and matured this past year and a half."

"But you're not going to be completely different Dem."

"I know that, of course I'm going to relapse of course I'm going to have my bad days. But I'm having far more good days than before. And you know why? Because you're back in my life you silly goose."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

To know that I've been making her feel better… well that's just the best gift I could ever have.

"Aww Dem. You don't even know how glad I am to hear you say that."

"I'm just being honest. I need to tell the truth more to make up the times I lied to you before."

"Mmm yes you can always be honest with me. You know I'd never be angry or judgemental."

"Yes I do know that. And I thank you for that."

I feel Demi wrap her arms around me, holding on to me so tightly.

Was this heaven? God really must love me.

She lets go, but she's takes my hands and looks down at them, as if almost analysing.

"We do have a bit of a mishap though…"

"Oh? What is it?"

"This room only has one bed… which means if you're staying here, you know well… you'll have to stay in the same bed as me."

I'm chuckling, and grinning at this idea.

She's giving me a smirk back, and giving me evil eyes.

"Oh but you don't see that as a problem do you?" She retorts.

Shaking my head, still grinning like an idiot.

I take the smug look off my face and go back to being serious.

"I'll sleep on the couch, I don't mind."

Demi's still smiling, "I never said it was a problem Nick…" She said those words so huskily and oh my god I think I may melt.

"No Demi… we're not ready for that."

Oh shit, I can feel myself blushing.

Oh great… I think I'm feeling frustrated again as well.

Just brilliant, I won't even be able to get upstairs.

"Oh come on… I won't bite." Demi giggles.

My eyes go wide, I can't speak. I just stare at her.

"Nick! I didn't mean it like that. Let's just go upstairs…"

"Demi I can't."

She frowns slightly and stands up from the couch.

"Why not?"

"Because… I just can't."

I'm sitting with one leg crossed over the other, trying to hide from her again like before whenever she made me feel like this.

She then pulls my arm up and tries to pick me up.

"No! Dem… I'll sleep here."

Then I see her eyes widen like she's realised something.

"Oh my god shit… are you… are you… you know?"

I nod, "Yeah… you really have this effect on me."

"Aww Nick damn… are you really stiff?"

"Yeah and I didn't want you to know that, but you make me crazy Demi… with your outfits, your flirty talk and ugh it's really frustrating."

"Is it bad that I wanna say I'm glad? I don't mean to torture you, but I'm glad you feel the same way I do. But I guess I'm lucky cause girls don't show it… well, only when they're blushing really red."

I look up at her face, and yeah… Demi's face had gone very red.

"I really want to wait Nick… but at the same time I don't. I know your brain may say it's not the time, but our bodies are going mental. Does it hurt Nick?"

"A little bit yeah… I have to found something to turn me right off."

"Ha-ha well I guess you won't find anything anytime soon." She winks at me.

"Demi just go to bed."

"Nick I don't care you have a hard on. You're marching up the stairs with me now."

"This isn't taking things slow…"

"Ugh well I don't care anymore. I trust you and I mean that from my heart. I truly believe that we can sleep together platonically, because you're not only my boyfriend, but my best friend too. You're someone I can have a deeper relationship that goes beyond the idea of sex and all that. I don't think it even matters how slowly or fast we're taking things, it's what feels right is what matters."

I stand up and approach her, staring right into her beautiful, big brown eyes.

I stroke the side of her face with the back of my hand, gazing at her with as much love put in it as I am capable of.

She smiles and shyly looks away from my eyes.

"Nick… don't do that. You'll get me all frustrated."

I stop stroking and take her hand and I place it on my chest.

"You have my soul and heart Demi… my world is completed when you're by my side."

"Ooo get you with your corniness and romantic gestures."

I give her a sarcastic remark with my face.

"Shush you I mean it."

Her eyes change to warmth and she then smiles at me genuinely.

"I know you do… and I can't be anymore grateful. You're the best guy in the world."

She pulls me into a tight hug, and I wrap my arms round her, making sure she feels safe.

"I can't imagine myself without you anymore Demi."

"Neither can I."

"I'm never ever letting you get away again."

"Don't worry, I won't leave you. I can't… it would break me again."

We let go of our hug, and held hands. I then placed my lips softly on hers.

I left chaste kisses on her neck and her shoulders. Her lips were so intoxicating, so smooth and irresistible. My favourite way of kissing her was, the small kisses where I'd smudge my lips and then letting go and continuing that same way. But sometimes the long, open mouth kisses are complete bliss.

But she lets me know in her body language what she wants, and I do my best. It seems our connection really is beyond words, and I do get it right almost every time with what she might command. I somehow manage to please her and I'm so glad.

"You definitely can't kiss me like that and leave me to go upstairs alone."

"Okay fine I'll sleep in your bed with you. BUT… we must keep clothes on."

"Yes of course."

I grin at Demi and she grins back. She takes my hand upstairs, and surprisingly I'm not feeling frustrated anymore.

I'm just sharing a bed with a best friend.

"Demi, go to sleep."

"I can't! Shouldn't we just do an all-nighter? You have to leave today… and this makes me really sad."

"I would love to do an all-nighter with you, but today's my only day off and then I have more of How To Succeed with now breaks whatsoever for another 2 and a half weeks. Then we can do an all-nighter because it will be finished."

"Okay fine. I'll try and sleep. Goodnight Nick."

"Goodnight Demi. Have sweet dreams and… er, well… this has been a pleasant experience sharing a bed with you."

"Hehe… it's been swell honey. Give me a quick peck; I am sugar free so you'll be fine…"

I can't help but chuckle, and I agree to what she asks.

I feel her soft lips again, and those lips could carry me into a peaceful wonderland.

I fear I'll have fantasies of her again in my dreams.

I just hope it won't be obvious in the morning.

_"Sweet, beautiful Demi Lovato… been driving me wild since the day I met her."_


End file.
